August 2003 Archives

My patriotic heart is full and showing today. I am filled with lots of emotions and they tend to run high. I am reminded lately and frequently by a dear friend "They made a choice to serve" when I express myself. You know what? "I make my own choice to express my emotions on how much the guys who serve in our armed forces mean to me and how much I really do have a caring heart for them all. I wear it on my sleeve and I don't care who likes it or doesn't like it. Sure they make the choice to serve but that doesn't mean they do not need kind words and gentle thoughts and hearts that care for them daily." I am a 37 year old white American woman. I am born in this nation purely by the grace of God. His purpose for me, I do not know, but I am here and all my life that I can remember I have asked him to use me as a vessel for his will. It is, I believe, our only purpose for existance. I live in a country where I have the privilege of choosing who I marry or who I will not marry. I choose the number kids of have, not a government. I can vote, hold any job I am qualified for. I can speak my mind and don't have to live in fear. I choose how I serve God and have the honor of worshipping openly without a penalty of death. The constitution gives me more rights and privileges than I can name. I know who it is that ensures I get to live those rights each and every single day. If there is nothing else I know, I know freedom is not free. It comes with a price and that price is the shed blood of men and women who serve this country. You all know I don't believe women belong in the military in combat situations. but I have enough to respect to say thank you to them for the jobs they do. I am guilty of saying "men who serve our country", just know I don't forget there are women who serve too. I know who I am to be greatful to. I know who deserves my respect. There are so many people in my thoughts and in my heart, I simply cannot rest. I care for you as deeply as I do my own blood relative. You are like family to me. You are important to me. You make me happy. I am so blessed to have you in my life. I found this in my journal, dated 17 March 2003. It is as honestly felt today, right this minute, perhaps more so in many ways, as it was the morning I wrote it. This morning as I drove to work, made my way out to the main highway, I sat as traffic passed until it was clear to make the right turn and pull out heading south. As I sat, cars and small trucks passed, the rains poured, and in the long lines of traffic came heavy equipment trucks loaded with military feild equipment. Truck after truck heading south. I wondered how many people even knew the significance of these trucks or thought about the lives who sat behind the wheel. As I entered town and drove through, passed the armory, men in camo and black berrets milled about, some crossed the street and walked over to a fast food restaurant. I wondered if anyone payed attention to the significance of their presence and I wondered if anyone thought about those men as being sons, brothers, fathers, husbands, brothers, uncles, cousins, bestfriends .. to people we don't know. I wondered how many people are intelligent and cognitive enough to realize the events that have begun to unfold and if there is any recognition that history is being marked and events can and will effect our nation for a good part of the next half century. Even more, sadly, I wonder how many of those people even care about the soldiers who are performing their duty and honor to their country. We Americans have been very gung-ho about voicing our opinions in support of war, but I wonder how many of those who speak the loudest for one moment think about the personal sacrifice of those who actually carry out such plans... Please know it is with my most humble gratitude, deepest sincerity, that I wish you all well. God bless you and keep you safe. May He grant you grace and mercy. May He give you strength of heart, peace of mind and courage in adversity. May He give those you leave behind the peace that passes understanding and they remain faithful, loyal and true. God bless you all who serve. Thank you for letting me live in freedom and not demanding of me to give as much as you do for the privilege of being American. I believe we all have a place and for those of you who serve, I am best at supporting your efforts. lean on me when you are not strong for I will never think of you as weak. Let me be your strength when you are defending my freedoms and let me be your shelter when the storms of war have left you worn. It is all I have to give and I give it freely. Thank you for every moment you have sacrificed to ensure that we, as a people and a nation live in freedom. Thank you for protecting and ensuring the dignity of Old Glory. Thank you for your service to our country. You are the reason, as those who came before you, that my children grow up in a world of peace. For that, there is nothing that I can say to show my gratitude enough. Simply, thank you ....

CommandLineGuy from chat shared this with me today ... Desiderata Go placidly amid the noise and haste, and remember what peace there may be in silence. As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons. Speak your truth quietly and clearly; and listen to others, even the dull and the ignorant; they too have their story. Avoid loud and aggressive persons, they are vexations to the spirit. If you compare yourself with others, you may become vain and bitter; for always there will be greater and lesser persons than yourself. Enjoy your achievements as well as your plans. Keep interested in your own career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time. Exercise caution in your business affairs; for the world is full of trickery. But let this not blind you to what virtue there is; many persons strive for high ideals; and everywhere life is full of heroism. Be yourself. Especially, do not feign affection. Neither be cynical about love; for in the face of all aridity and disenchantment it is as perennial as the grass. Take kindly the counsel of the years, gracefully surrendering the things of youth. Nurture strength of spirit to shield you in sudden misfortune. But do not distress yourself with dark imaginings. Many fears are born of fatigue and loneliness. Beyond a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself. You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and the stars; you have a right to be here. And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be at peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul. With all its sham, drudgery, and broken dreams, it is still a beautiful world. Be cheerful. Strive to be happy. Max Ehrmann, Desiderata, Copyright 1952.

This was read on a local radio show featuring Johnboy and Billy. Everytime I read through it tears come to my eyes. My Daughter's First Day of School Dear World, I bequeath to you today one little girl in a new dress with big brown eyes and a happy laugh that ripples all day long…and a head of light brown hair that bounces in the sun when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well. She's slipping out of the backyard of my heart this morning and skipping off down the street to her first day of school. And never again will she be completely mine. Prim and proud she'll wave her young and independent hand this morning and say "Goodbye" and walk with little lady steps to school. Now she'll learn to stand in lines and wait by the alphabet for her name to be called. She'll learn to tune her ears for the sounds of school bells…and she'll learn to giggle…and gossip…and look at the ceiling in a disinterested way when the little boy across the aisle sticks out his tongue at her. And now she'll learn to be jealous. And now she'll learn how it is to feel hurt inside. And now she'll learn how not to cry. Now she'll worry about those important things…like grades and which dress to wear and whose best friend is whose. And the magic of books and learning will replace the magic of her dolls. Today when that school bell rings for the first time…she'll learn what it means to be a member of the group…with all its privileges and its disadvantages too. She'll learn in time that proper young ladies do not laugh out loud…or kiss dogs…or keep frogs in pickle jars in bedrooms…or even watch ants scurry across cracks in sidewalks in the summer. Today she'll learn for the first time that all who smile at her are not her friends. And I'll stand on the front porch and watch her start out on a the long, lonely journey to becoming a woman. So, world, I bequeath to you today one little girl…in a new dress with big brown eyes and a head of light brown hair that bounces in the sunlight when she runs. I trust you'll treat her well.