Home Grown

« Ga to Va | Main | The Name Game - It's Over Yonder »

April 07, 2005

Lots of cussing in this post

Ask me what the motherfucking dog just did. I dare you! Go ahead, ask.

It is not enough that I have resorted to a shock collar to keep her ass out of the kitchen garbage. It is not enough that she gets fed a fucking gourmet sensitive stomach dog food that is fucking expensive. It is not enough that she actually gets fed MORE than is actually recommended for a dog her size, but that fucking bitch of a dog just jumped into the dining room chair and onto the fucking table to steal a fucking piece of cold damn toast the kids left from their breakfast.

To say I am not an aminal person is not true. Not true at all. I generally enjoy animal life and being from a farm have alway emmersed myself in the care of animals.

However ...

This damn dog of Steven's has pushed my buttons for the past 8 months. She has been near being sent to the dog pound once too many times and the only reason she didn't go was because the kids cried and I didn't want to be the "bad one", again, in this game called parenting. Not to mention the drama Steven plays out when I start yelling about his bitch of dog. :-/

I am still holding a grudge for the day we picked her up from the vet after being boarded while we were on vacation last summer and that bitch ran wild through the house while we were gone for 2 hours and shit in every fucking bed and all over the floor and in the dirty laundry pile and EVERY FUCKING SURFACE WAS COVERED IN DOG SHIT!!! Steven wasn't home, he was at work and who do you think had to wash every damn piece of bedding and clean that almighty dog shit up?

That fucking dog holds her shit and refuses to go when she is boarded. That is bad enough. To top it off whatever her fucking problem was that day it was also the result of some virus that made its way through the kennels and the vet treated her at no charge, making no comments, but knowing it was their fucking fault every damn animal in that fucking place had been sick and they did not tell a single soul about it. Mother fuckers.

Ohhhh, spring is here, the weather is getting warmer everyday, except when it rains. That damn dog is finding herself outside more and more and by summer her ass will not be a house dog.

If she were to run away, which she won't, dammit it all to hell and back, she would not exist in the wild more than a couple days. She has been catered to and pampered since the day Steven brought her free-to-a-good-home ass into his life -all at the whining and urging of his ex-fucking-wife. The bitch did not take the damn dog with her when she left. That fucking dog is just another reason I get to hate her.

Steven says stupid shit like he doesn't cater to the dog, she is not spoiled. Oh, the fuck you say. When I moved in that damn dog thought she was Steven's wife and climbed into bed everynight and put her fucking head on my pillow. The bitch got pushed off the bed everynight until I taught her not to get on my bed! It is one thing to have a dog in the house. It is another when the damn dog lays on everything and leaves mounds of fucking hair everywhere.

The first time I cleaned the townhouse after I moved in, I could have used that dog hair and made every single one of us a winter sweater! I kid you not! 5 complete sweaters with the big cowle neck collars straight out of the 80's fashion trend.

I think I have finished ranting.

All of you house-dog lovers out there reading this are NOT allowed to offer any advice on this matter.

I now return you to your normal everyday blog surfing.

Posted by Angie at 07:53 AM | Comments (2)

Posted by Angie at April 7, 2005 12:52 PM

Comments

Posted by: peter at September 9, 2005 05:48 AM

Posted by: ethan carpenter at December 25, 2005 11:53 AM