My Second Book - A Work In Progress

I have decided all the hoopla in the blogging world on who will and who won't, who did and who didn't get a book deal has become my inspiration today, my muse. I did not care about book deals. I have already published a lovely work and can look at my name on the spine of a beautifully covered hardback book of nonfiction relating to the South, The War Between The States, and 1500 men who became so dear to my heart it felt as if they were my children. So today I am beginning my second book without a book deal anywhere in the horizon and could care less if one ever comes. My readers can decide if it is classified as fiction or nonfiction and to which genre it falls in: romance, sci-fi, tech, horror, literature, erotica or dime store novella trash. Let's get the really hard stuff out of the way first. The front cover of the book will feature the title, my by line and an artfully taken photograph pointing into the sun where it is just able to be seen in the glare at the very bottom of the cover a pair of manicured bare feet on my red couch crossed at the ankles, the power cord to this old laptop, a sweating glass of iced tea or diet coke with lime, our snoring farting black dog sleeping nearby and a pack of Marlboro Menthol 100's tossed carelessly among the frey. For visual impact I may include my floral wedding bouquet with a psuedo MSN butterfly gracing one of the yellowing petals of white rose or stephanotis. The back cover will feature me and Red. We will be posers akin to Steven King. However I will be wearing black cateye framed sunglasses, a boldly printed scarf tossed over my hair and across my shoulder, my lips will be painted a vibrant red to match Red's paint job and I will hold a smoldering cigarette between my fingers with highly manicured nails the same shade as my lips and the cigarette will be stained from my lipstick in that tell-tale sign that someone actually puffed on it. The dedication will be to my husband of course: "The man who made it all possible." Because you know he DID marry me after he found me online and he provides me with cable internet! The man deserves it! Inside the posh and shiney dust jacket will read how I became a bride through MSN chat and all the things I learned before and after about men. It will be inciteful quips and blurbs about all things me: my car, my house, my husband, my children, the dog and the state of affairs of internet relationships and the impossible happily-ever-after of online dating and quickie marriages with a few examples of how cheaply frugal I can be. I will also toss in a few wildly made up, yet hotly erotic cyber sex senerios along with messenger conversations that may or may not have actually taken place followed up with digitally enhanced phone sex encouters. You know, to add spice and excitement. It may even have a little map with all the places I stopped for gas between Georgia and Virginia. My book tours will only take me to the places where I can meet my favorite online journalists so that I won't have to spend my own money for the transportation across this great nation and to places over seas. Those same journalists and I will sit together in some bookstore and those same journalists will autograph my book as the crowds line up adding spiffy little phrases telling my readers they should have read the free version online. We will then go have a drink or coffee and eat fattening foods, laughing loudly and making catty remarks about bloggers who do not appeal to us. If we are lucky we will be asked to leave and this will only feed our laughter as we saunter out into the night and into the bar or restaurant next door. How does that sound? Are you hooked? Now, my favorite online journalists, which of you is willing to be the stand in foot model? I have a thing about feet and do not want mine splashed on the front of a best selling runaway novel. Come on, ladies, I'll spring for the pedicure! Hoss, if the ladies won't do it, will you? I am sure a man of your stature would appreciate a foot massage and I won't let them paint your toenails pink or red, maybe bright orange or lime green, something electrifying. My next entry will be the Introduction. Stay tuned.