Dear Angie,
Yesterday's post was in response to questions asked from this post. Thank you all for the lovely comments.
This is not an advice column but today I am going to give some advice. I firmly believe life is what you make. I built the life I want to live.
1. If you don't like your life: Change it.
2. Stop giving other people permission to take away your joy. No one can take anything away from you unless you give them the power to control you. Those who choose to live life depressed, sharing sadsack tales with the 'oh woe is me' attitude, blaming everything and everyone for what they think is wrong with themselves has given permission to another person to take their joy. No one can take anything from you unless you let them.
3. For those who are married: You owe it yourself and your spouse to get your shit together. No one wants to carry your load all the time. Marriage is a shared relationship of responsibility. Sometimes it is your turn to carry the burden. Don't wait to be asked. Get in there and do your part and don't gripe and complain about it. Good marriages do not just happen and are not pulled out of thin air. They are built day by day. You have to work to have a good marriage. It does not come naturally. A marriage and each person in that marriage needs to be nurtured and cared for daily.
4. For those who have children: You owe it to your children to break the cycle. So you didn't have the perfect childhood. Get off your ass and give your children the idylic childhood you missed out on.
5. If you can't get your act together on your own, seek help. If you need therapy - get it. If you need medical intervention - get it. A nervous breakdown is not a pretty sight. Get help. Stick with the treatment and work through it to accomplish a happy healthy outcome.
Thank you.
Good advice from a very wise woman. When can I move in? I need to be rasied right and taught to cook & garden. I'll clean up my messes, I promise.
Can I move in too? I'd like to learn to cook like you do also.
You are so wise, Angie, far beyond your years. I'd call you "an old soul" in a young body.
And jangle gently as you move. -- Satchel Paige.
Amen. You go girl! Remind me never to piss you off. ;0)
Right on- Right on -Right on!!
Dear Angie,
I made the sour cream biscuits with my daughter yesterday. We enjoyed them warm with grape jelly dripping down our hands.
I was wondering what you would do with sweet potatoes?
Jenny
I know by following #4 it gave me a chance to have unknown pleasures. I've changed my mind about moving in though, jeeze if I couldn't whine about all the chores then I'd surely need therapy, lol.
Angie, I just knew you liked the same picnic menus as we did! We also had olives and pickles and chips and raw carrots and celery to munch on while everything else was being set-up. Those were the days!
I am sorry to admit that when my kids were small, I hated to produce a picnic, so now they don't have those wonderful memories like I do. Give me the old 40 lashes, will you?!
Amen, Angie! You tell it!
Allowing other to steal your joy: Someone once gave me the analogy of 'catching keys'. If someone tosses a set of keys at you, you don't HAVE to catch them. In the same way, when people throw discouragement, hatefulness and depression at you, you don't HAVE to catch it. You can let it hit the floor the same way the keys will if you don't reach out for them.
Anyhow, it made a lot of sense and stuck with me.
Marriage: I like the analogy of a garden. Marriage is like one in that if you neglect it, weeds creep in and plants will be strangled and die. You have to tend it daily for it to produce the crop you want. Marriage is hard work. But very worth all the effort put into it.
Children: I like what you said. Basically, and as you have proven, one's lousy childhood is not an excuse to pass along the legacy to the next generation. Be the parent you wish you'd had. Even tho my childhood was not so traumatic as yours, it had its moments. I have vowed my children will never feel about me the way I felt about my parents. God help me!
Getting help: Amen again. If you need help, get it. There's no shame in trying to improve yourself whether you need assistance or not!
Thanks so much for sharing all this Angie.
God bless!
~hugs~
I want to add -- because I am the type that cannot shut up.
Every life has its share of tragedy. Yes, things can be very bad -- people get sick, people die, bad things happen.
But we have some choices - and the way I see it, we can make a choice to be, act, live miserably or we can strive for happiness.