Half Way
This past week Steven was able to feel our baby move for the first time. Normally when he tries to feel the movement either his hand is in the wrong place or the baby refuses to move again.
Monday night we lay in bed talking in the dark -dreaming out loud. The baby was really rolling and tumbling alot. I lay flat on my back and held his hand against my tummy. The baby moved above his hand then below his hand. I think he was resigned to not feeling the baby move when it thumbed very hard right in the center of his palm. For him that was the absolute most awesome moment to date. Feeling the baby move like that makes it more real for him.
I have reached the half way mark in this pregnancy. I hate to complain and make it seem as if I am not enjoying this pregnancy because I am. I relish every moment. I am so excited over this baby and the future I can barely contain myself.
This is the last time I plan to be pregnant. This is the last child I will birth. This is the last time I will spend months and months dreaming of the little being growing inside my body.
However, at almost 40, this pregnancy is hard on my body. In all of my previous pregnancies I felt great, better than ever before. I am not going to lie to you. Physically this is the yuckiest pregnancy I have ever had. Never have I felt this badly when pregnant. Here is a run down to date:
-3 months of morning sickness that lasted all day long
-severe case of carpal tunnel syndrome (which is improving the pain is not so bad today)
-ear infection
-car sickness if I am a passenger
-if I am in the car for more than 30 or 40 minutes my feet begin to swell and it takes several days to go down and it hurts to stand on my feet (I walk like a cripple when my feet swell so I am staying very close to home)
-I am restless
-I am always tired
-I do not sleep more than 2 hours at a time
-I am up and down all night long
-My body hurts like I have been doing alot of physical labor
-My joints ache all the time
-The morning sickness has returned in the mid-afternoon and hangs on for a couple of hours
-Every morning I wake up and feel like I am starting the day with a massive hangover
I could understand if I wasn't trying to take care of myself. I am walking nearly 2 miles. I have cut out salt, chemical sweetners, coffee, refined and processed sugars and flour. I am eating a wide variety of vegetables and fruits and eating lean meats. As soon as I found out I was pregnant I quit smoking. I have only gained 2 pounds and I am now nearly the 5th month mark. I mean seriously if I did all of this before I got pregnant I would be a living picture of great health.
Please, listen to me. If you are planning to have more children and are in your early to mid thirties HAVE THAT BABY NOW. Don't wait. Not that your pregnancy will be anything like mine (and mine could be so much worse and thank God this child is healthy and thriving) but it could happen.
I cannot imagine having small children and being like this for 9 months and having little to no help all day. If it were not Colby there are many many days during this pregnancy we would not have had a meal or clean clothes. Steven spent the last month working 16 - 18 hours a day and wasn't here to help much at all. I even looked for a housekeeper -with no success.
There is a reason we have children when we are younger and I am learning that now.
This is going to sound so bad, please don't think less of me, but I can't help but count down the days until it is all over and I can have my body back and begin to feel like myself. I have even told Steven I can't wait until one week after I have had this baby because I know I will begin to feel so much better.
Steven has asked me many times if it is worth being pregnant to feel this bad all the time and I say yes it is worth every ache and pain. He has asked me if I knew it would be like this or worse would I do it anyway. You bet your life I would. This baby is worth it all and more.
No one told me it would be this hard physically and I just wish I had some warning as to what to expect. So I am telling you all have your babies before you reach this point in life if it is at all possible otherwise plan to hire a housekeeper and a cook and maybe a part time babysitter to help you cope.
On another note - to those would like to give assvice via email. Look over in the side bar and read some of the about me links before you start telling me what I should or should not be doing. Just a quick FYI rundown for the assvice giver: I am 39. This is my fourth pregnancy. I have also been a surrogate mother. My oldest child is 18 and in college. This is my second marriage. I was married the first time for 14 years. I don't need advice from someone who has less experience than I in this department. Thank you very much.
To all my dear internet friends - I read you daily. I miss you dearly. I think my hands are healing enough that I can post a bit now. Thank you for the sweet emails. I will answer them all but I will be slow in doing so -this post has taken me all day long.
MommaK as soon as I am recovered from this pregnancy I will have you out here and we will eat, eat, eat. I won't even make you work in my gardens. I promise. :-)
Aw, Angie. I'm SO sorry you're feeling so bad.
But...if I can be totally honest right here on your blog in front of the Internet and everybody...
...I feel like most of your list every single day. I am only 37 and I haven't been pregnant since 1999.
I know you're struggling to feel good mentally when your body is in such rebellion against you...and I realize how you're feeling about this baby in the midst of so much pain and discomfort.
I DO realize all that. But my advice for EVERYONE is to appreciate the health you have EVERY DAY!
Because some of us don't really have so much health at all. And we have no 'due date' to look forward to when it'll all be over. We have no special someone who will make it all worthwhile on that date.
We just have pain and we have to get up and get over it because for most of us, no one really understands the fatigue, the reluctance to go places, the messiness we live with because we just can't get it all done...etc, etc, etc.
Anyhow...all that is what came immediately to mind when I saw your list.
It's kinda funny if I think of it as this pregnant lady's list and I have almost all her symptoms! ;)
Please don't take offense at anything I've said. None of it is meant to be "ugly". I just 'blurted' out what I felt.
You can always delete my comment, right? :) (& I won't be offended)
Hang in there and by all means, start marking off the days on the calendar!! You have every right!
Yay! Angie's back! I'm so glad that your carpal tunnel pain is a little better.
But be careful and don't overdo it, ok? And pat yourself on the back for taking such a proactive approach to your overall health.
When you feel up to it, I hope we'll hear how Gracie is doing at school and how Colby likes college.
Oh Angie. Pleeeeeeeeeease don't apologize. I hated being pregnant, even though both my pregnancies were textbook and made no bones about it. I think my hard pregnancies are what made what came afterwards seem so easy. There's a secret for ya.
Hang in there. And complain away. I mean, pregnancy is hard work. Really.
And I hate to be the annoying advice giver, but....you need to gain more weight. 2 pounds is nothing. Maybe that would make you feel better. I found I felt really sick if I didn't eat enough.
And keep looking for a housekeeper. Really. And keep them on for a while after the baby is born.
I hope you feel better soon, sweetie. If I lived closer, I'd bring you some meals for your freezer.
Hi Angie. I'm so happy to see you back!!I'm sorry you are having a rough go of it! But at least you remember that what you get in the end is the greatest gift of all!!
Maybe you and I can figure out how close we are to each other and I can help in some way! Just email me/
Aw, Angie, I think I know how you feel. I had the girl child when I was 31 and it was such a yucky pregnancy that I knew it would be my last. I didn't know then that I had fibromyalgia, but I knew my body could not do that again. She was worth every bit of pain and misery and I loved feeling her move inside me, but to me the pregnancy was what I had to endure in order to get my beautiful baby.
I hope the rest of your pregnancy goes smoothly and that you have the easiest, best-sleeping baby in the world at the end of it!
Oh my gosh, Angie. You are amazing. I have been thinking about you all the time. I got worried when I linked you the other day and your page was blank but I knew you had bigger fish to fry (so to speak)and were hopefully putting those feet up. 2 miles? Wow, that is really great!
Thank you for your kind words at the end there. You always know how to make me get misty ;-)I really would love to help you in any way I could. Please let me know if I can come and do anything for you.
Halfway, that is so awesome! Hang in there honey. You know you have a whole cheering section out here:)
Yay, she speaks! (I mean types!)
Now that I got to snuggle my little niece, I have supersized jealousy of you, living in my dream house AND GETTING YOUR OWN LITTLE BABY TOO. I had blocked out the adorable newborn snuggling and stretching and reaching out of little arms that are so short a full extension only reaches their little eyes.
I just read an article discussing what they described as 'an epidemic of later in life pregnancies' and that it is not a good thing but no one is addressing it. Yet.
Angie, I am so sorry to hear you are not feeling well, but I'm so glad you are posting again. I have missed your words and unique way of saying them. Keep on looking for some help and like Raehan says, keep them on for a while. I hope you will begin to feel better soon; the last 3 mos. are often better than the first 6, at least they were for me. It sounds as if you are doing all the right things - so think of how healthy you and the baby will be!
I'm so glad you're back and hope hope hope you will feel better soon. yes, half way Angie, half way. hang in there!!! we're all so there with you!!!
Angie. Glad to hear that you're still doing okay despite all the blahs. It is totally worth it! And I'm sure after being pregnant four times the totally worth it becomes greater :) Oh and all the things you listed in the "run down to date" that was totally me plus some when I was pregnant with my son. I'm going to guess you're having a boy. :)
Congratulations on your half way point :)
Whoopee!! A post by Angie! Terribly sorry about your "wounds," kid. Advising the pregnancy gods to lay off you for a while. We'll see.
Hi Angie- I'm glad to see back for awhile- I've missed you-Sorry the "little guy" is giving you a hard time-ooops did I say Little guy?-but I'm sure who ever it is -sooo worth it! Take care of the both of you..jakapk
glad your back we missed ya! Glad to hear your hands are feeling a little bit better. Hang in there you are half way there woo hoo!
Hang in there girl. Good advice about having babies early, I hear that all the time.
Lean on others right now, that's what friends are for.
so glad to see your back...
I am 30..I have 3 kids..and in the back of my mind i think one more might be nice..but i was going to wait till i was like 35...maybe i better just scaratch that idea..all three of mine were hard..i mean i was sicker than a dog..LOL
I hope you get feeling better..and I cant wait till we all hear stoires of your late night feedings and lack of genral sleep..babies are worth every bit though..
godd luck angie:)
Well Angie, I don't think you don't owe ANYONE an apology for feeling as you do, or for complaining. For crying out loud, those are legitimate concerns! In fact, I think you need a full time maid, nanny and a cook. (I wouldn't mind having them either).
I'm 44, and when I get out of bed in the morning, i've got lots of aches and pains. And i'm not even pregnant. So you complain all you want to, those of us who have been pregnant know what you're going through. I just wish you the best.
Can't wait to see the baby pictures either. :)
Hang in there!
So glad to hear your getting better writing-wise ;0) I'm sorry your pregnacy has been so painful..it will all be worth it in the end! Leave it to you to find a light at the end of the tunnel! Anything you need...just say so ;0)
Angie! So good to hear from you. Glad to hear that you're well, relatively well, anyway. Forty weeks never seemed so long I bet. Take care of yourself and little Jenny (just a suggestion ;)) - but I, too, am thinking boy.
So glad you're back... You've really made me rethink waiting several more years to have another baby (I'm 30 now). Because I thought my first pregnancy was pretty difficult, although I had no complications. So I can't imagine it getting WORSE!
Hang in there!
Hi Angie! Hoss sent me to visit. He seems to think you might know where I could find coffee beer! His morning chocolate beer sounded good, but I need coffee.
Good luck with the baby! Sounds like you could use some good luck!
Glad you're at least able to type now! I feel for you girl...I was 29 when I had my only child and I felt like even THAT age was tough!
Glad to get an update. The baby's kick makes it seems like it's ready to get on out here but will have to wait longer before being treasured outside the womb too. What a lucky kid.
You should be so proud of yourself for all the things that you are doing to take care of yourself and junior. I'm so impressed! Don't think of it as not working, try to imagine what sort of symptoms you may have fended off by making such good choices. And think too how much your body will thank you in those first couple of months after the baby is born. Do you think you'll keep up with your dietary changes after the baby arrives?
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