My OB is an @$$
When first I went searching for an OB-GYN it was because of need of prenatal care. Having moved to Virginia the year previous looking for a GYN wasn't real high on my list of priorities and I guess I was still hanging on to my doctor in Georgia -whom I love! Best. Doctor. Ever.
So I went through the list of prefered prividers on our insurance company's website and chose a doctor realitively close to home. Many of my options were more than 40 miles away and didn't make sense to have to drive that far every month or to have to use the hospital they were affiliated with which was even farther from my home.
In the very beginning I was very happy with the doctor I chose and it appeared we would get the best of both worlds -an M.D. and a midwife.
With each visit the doctor did very little to endear himself to me. At first I wrote it off as me being fussy and not wanting to be there in the first place. Perhaps his attitude was somehow a reflection of my inner feelings. I am of the pioneer way of thinking, pregnancy isn't an illness and if everything is ok there is no need of constant doctor appointments when there is no indication of need that often. When I had Colby it was common to see the doctor only every other month unless problems occurred. Which was fine with me. I have never had any problems with a pregnancy. My doctor in Georgia once laughed at how boring a patient I was because my pregnancies were so completely uneventful.
On my first visit he did a vaginal exam to diagnose the pregnancy, not a blood test. Just a physical exam. At this visit I met the mid-wife and she was present during the exam. He was very rough physically. She seemed not to notice. She even tried to convince me she was the expert and I knew nothing about pregnancy. In which I cut her off short and told her I had far more experience in this department than she realized and to not speak to me as if I was a teenage mother.
On my second visit he insisted on another vaginal exam and he hurt me physically by seeming to shove the speculum in and when I told him he was hurting me greatly he took it out and put it in the second time with more force. Afterwards I called Steven in tears.
I think he was pissed off because when asked if I wanted a nurse in the room during the exam I said of course I do. No doctor in his right mind would do internal exams without a nurse present but this doctor seemed to think it was optional and I even heard a sarcastic remark outside the door before he came in. He found it ridiculous that a patient would want a nurse present. Also the nurse-midwife was no where to be seen. If she was one who possibly would be delivering why wasn't she present?
I brushed this off albeit with hesitation when Steven suggested another doctor by the third visit but from past experience I know doctors don't like to take a new patient on mid-pregnancy. I decided to tough it out with this doctor hell or high water.
The next visit he made a comment in a very rude back handed insult way about my weight.
The next visit when I was having trouble with my hands he said, "What do you want me to do about it? I am not an orthopedist." I said no you aren't but most other specialist won't see a woman who is pregnant without a consult or a referral from the OB. He told me in short order to handle it myself, it wasn't his specialty and walked out. This was during the time when my hands were such painful agony it was impossible to sleep.
The next visit I had an ear infection. He took the scope off the wall and shoved it into my ear and it was so painful I thought I was going to cry. He did not use one of those disposable covers either. He told me he was not an ENT and there was nothing he could do for me. He seemed to think as long as he listened to the babies heart beat he had done his job. He is a rude old man lacking compassion of any sort.
Yesterday Colby went with me to the doctor appointment because she wanted to hear the baby's heartbeat. The doctor came in and promptly told her to get out of his way. She was sitting in the chair at the head of the exam table clearly out of the way. Both sides of the table was open for him to stand yet he insisted he needed to be in the exact spot she was. This pissed me off but I held my tongue.
As he searched around to find the baby's heartbeat the baby kept moving away. You could see the physical exasperation on his face and the more the baby moved the tighter his jaw got and the more impatient he became. He got very rude and short spoken with me. He managed to hear the heartbeat for about 3 beats and considered himself finished.
During this entire pregnancy I have been very careful about my weight. My blood pressure is perfect. I have nothing whatsoever to be concerned with. Everything is normal and the baby is growing and thriving. Yesterday the scale said I had gained two (2) pounds since the beginning of the pregnancy (I am almost 5 months now). He was nasty and rude and acted like I had gained 202 pounds. He talk to me in such a way it was humilating and in front of Colby. I was so completely shocked and taken aback I couldn't even speak. He signed my chart said I'll see you in 4 weeks and walked out. WTF?!?!?!
I am a firm believer that the best revenge is hitting a smartass straight in the pocketbook when possible. I came home contacted my insurance company. I went through the list of other providers and found one a little farther away but not too far and secured myself an appointment as a new patient. It took me several doctors and explaining the situation but I will be going to another physician and one whom I hope will be much better.
Maybe it is because I have seen the same OB-GYN for the past 15 years. Maybe it is because I come from a region of Georgia with one of the best medical colleges and teaching hospitals to be found and the doctors know their stuff and competition in the private practice world is stiff. Maybe people in this area of Virginia are so accustomed to being treated like shit they don't know they are not getting good health care. Whatever the reason I have NEVER experienced such backhanded health care.
Another thing that baffles me and pisses me off is if he expects his patients to willingly place themselves in the hands of a midwife why isn't she present during the patient exams?
I am still in such emotional turmoil I don't really know what to say here. I am just going to end it now and take a deep cleansing breath knowing I will be seeing another doctor in a couple of weeks.
*******
Lucinda, the wreath was simple to make. I chose the ornamental fall leaves, apples and pumpkins from the fall discount bin. Some of them were on stems pre-wired. I bought a $2 straw wreath form and bent the stems to curve and wrapped them tightly with floral wire to secure them in place. After I had gone completely around the wreath shape I then went back and added things to fill in the gaps. It took me about an hour and $12 of floral supplies from Walmart. Hot glue would work but if it hangs where sun will shine on it for most of the day the glue might melt. I would suggest a really high melt temp glue as opposed to the low temp hot glue.
Angie, you are right to seek another doctor. Why would you want to subject yourself to that guy month after month. One more thing you need to do if you haven't already - call the local medical society and report him. Better yet, write a letter detailing your treatment at his hands and mail it to the medical society. Why on earth did he become a doctor anyway?? They are supposed to be caring and supportive (or at least act like it!).
I switched OB/GYN's at 4 months when I was pregnant with my first.
She treated me like I was wasting her time and always seemed very perturbed when I asked her questions.
It came to a head when Dr. B finally came to an appointment with me and she treated him like shit too.
I knew there was no way I'd be able to birth this baby with all the tension and stress with that woman in the room. So I switched and never regretted it. (And that new doctor moved away and still sends me Christmas cards.)
Thanks so much for the wreath advice. I am going to do it this week. I've been craving one of those wreaths now that I'm seeing them in all the stores. And I've never known this difference between hi-temp and low-temp. My front door gets a ton of sun, so this will make a big difference!
We just received our new digital camera in the mail yesterday, so hopefully I'll be able to post a picture of my Angie wreath when I'm done!
As for the doctor, that pisses me off so much! I really hope you'll write him a letter and perhaps cc it to the OB/gyn board he's under. He sounds like a true ass and that is so uncalled for.
I'm especially angry because I went for my annual exam yesterday and saw my OB for the first time since I had the baby. She is so AWESOME- the best doctor I've ever had. She is tiny and she loves to read and she knows all about my life and we chat about books and she has purple streaks in her hair! And she was highly recommended to us when I was looking for an OB. Practically every mom in town uses one of the doctors in her practice, yet whenever I go in, everyone knows my name, from the ladies at the front desk to the nurses. I've never had that happen!
So I want that kind of experience for you. It makes such a difference. I hope your new doctor is much better.
I read this with a pounding heart and a growing sense of anger. That man should be reported, and no woman should have to be treated like that! You are right about the midwife or another nurse being present during the exams. I am so glad you found another Doctor, Angie.
I hope the new ob/gyn is much, much better.
Angie - I'm so glad you are finding a new doctor. What a scumbag.
Good luck with the new doctor. I hate finding new ones because a GYN is someone I do NOT want to feel stressed around. It doesn't help the, um, exam process to be all tense. I can just imagine how much worse it would be when pregnant!
I agree with the letter writing idea too. It would be nice to potentially help some other women to not have to go through all of that crap!
Another vote for the letter. Knowing you have the patience of Job I am not surprised you stuck it out as long as you did. But enough was too much.
I once had a dentist like that. I think he purposely left some decay in so he could double up on fees later.
oh my. I think you should copy and past this into a letter and sendit to him.
Oh, Angie, that's horrible about the rude old doctor. I was angry reading this, too and I hope you do write up a formal complaint about him. No human being should be treated that way, much less a woman who is carrying precious life. I'm glad you'll be seeing a new doctor. My OB-gyn doctors were both wonderful, especially the first one who approached every appointment as a chance to "celebrate a new little person coming into the world". Like Lucinda said, I wish for you a doctor (and complete staff) who knows you and treats you like you are the most special person in the place (and who manage to make everyone else feel that way, too). Let's hope this next doctor is more like that.
LOL that on your 'Seven and Seven' post you said you cannot build things by yourself and then you go making a wreath that others envy! I might try making an Angie-wreath, too... for my new front door. :)
Angie, I'm so glad you've switched doctors, the last thing you need is stress about something like that. Funny that the midwife disappeared. Was she in delivery? I had my babies with midwives (there were two in the practice and were affiliated with a local OB/GYN office should a problem arise) and part of the whole deal is that they are there for you...always. I hate that you're having to search for someone mid-pregnancy...not the way it should be.
I would definately report him not only to the AMA but also your insurance co. They might drop him if they get enough complaints, that happened here in our area.
Good luck
~K!
Fuming as I read. This type of treatment is unacceptable. You might want to tell your new doctor about it before you get going, just to make sure it doesn't happen again. I'm so sorry you went through this. Having a baby is supposed to be fun, right?
He sounds like the OBGYN I had for my first. I was so young and scared I let him insult me to tears each visit. My husband begged me to find a new doctor but I refused. I should have listened to him because during delivery this doctor made a few mistakes that jeopardized the health of the baby so much so that when she was born they rushed her to ICU. She had been in the birth canal too long and almost suffered brain damage. They thought she was deaf in her left ear for the first day of her life. Just thinking of all of this makes me cry. I was so mad at that man. I was one of his last patients before he retired. I guess he just didn't care anymore.
You made the right choice Angie. I am very proud of you.
I am all for writing him a letter, but he also needs a bag of feces mailed to him! This town had a doctor who not only did exams without a nurse present he did not use gloves. Some women went to him for daily exams, he has since been convicted. As mad as I am about how you were treated (especially in Colby's presence) it makes me so sad. Don't let that jackass ruin this time. Good luck with the new doctor.
I'll just print out the wreath and hang it on my door, you know how uncrafty I am, lol.
I want to add to the voices shouting GOOD FOR YOU for switching to another doctor. I changed doctors in the seventh month of my pregnancy with the girl child and never looked back. It meant driving further for appointments and for the birth but it was SO worth it. I have never regretted it. You deserve better, Angie! Big hugs to you.
PS. Forgot to mention that I'm totally up for kicking this doctor's ass for you.
It would be my honor, really.
I have the WORLDS best OB - I've been seeing him for 20 years. He practices in Rockville and DC and I"m sure you don't want to go there.. but if you want his phone #, just email me.. maybe he can refer you to someone!
Hang in there - and believe me, changing was definately the right thing to do!
I have a great one here too Ang. He's a she.
My goodness... that man should not be working. Especially in that field. My obgyn, she was a little rough, but she was also caring at the times I needed her to be caring.
Glad you are going to a new doctor. Hopefully everything will work out better.
Good for you for switching. Bad doctors are bad news. Bad OBs are even worse news. My OB was competent and pretty good, but didn't make me feel completely comfortable. I'm switching for Baby #3, if I ever get there.
*standing to applaude angie* You did the right thing girl. There is NO excuse for that kinda crap. Glad you moved on.
Gah! I absolutely hate having to switch docs. Having a chronic disease makes that especially unpleasant, but the good ones move and the bad ones make switching THE ONLY option, even if it means a 100-mile drive instead of a 10-minute one.
Yep. I choose to drive that much farther just to get a decent doc. Besides, *growl*..insurance will refuse to cover your ESSENTIAL meds if you don't see A SPECIALIST!! GAH!
Thankfully, I didn't have to ever switch OB's, but so glad you are doing so!! (altho, I sure wish you hadn't waited so long! He sounds like a prize-winning A-yadda-yadda)
Hoping all goes extremely smoothly for you!!
Oh my God! I know I'm late on this one but I have a great reference for an OB/GYN if you need one! I'm so sorry it was such a crappy first couple of months...glad you're getting out!