November 2007 Archives
When Zoe was lost it was a very long time before Colby was ready for another pet. I have to admit it was the same for me. Zoe was one of those pups that came into our world and left a huge mark on our lives in a very short period of time. She set the standard for the idea of a house companion. Her loss was a huge gaping hole in our lives for a very long time.
It was near the time that I met Steve that Colby began to ask for another dog. Another miniature poodle to be exact. She didn't just want a dog or a pet. When it was obvious that we would most likely be moving to Virginia and starting a new life with Steve I had asked her to wait until that time and then we would get a another puppy.
After we moved and were settled Steve always threw up red flags as to why we couldn't have another puppy. His dog would not understand. His dog would feel threatened. His dog was too nervous and wouldn't be able to cope with another pet in the house. Blah blah blah. So Colby and Grace were told there would be no puppy. No dog. No cat.
When we moved to this house I really wanted another dog. The exact same excuses where thrown up at every turn. After Steven was born I talked about having a puppy for Steven to grow up with because every boy needs a dog to share his boyhood with. Steve was against the idea completely. It caused a lot of frustration and more than a few tears of my own. I was beginning to feel like I was a child being told I couldn't have a puppy. It was/is a feeling I do not like and had a lot of trouble tolerating. I even considered getting a dog and letting the chips fall were they may.
When Steve's dog passed on things changed. There was no reason nor excuse of her presence that could be used to veto another dog. When Steve and I talked and decided to get another dog that sort of set in motion something in me that could not be stopped. If he could choose a dog and bring it here to live so could I. If we could start all over with new pets there was no reason whatsoever to continue to deny Colby and Grace a puppy that had now become a fuzzy dream.
Monday morning I placed a call in answer to an ad in the Charlottesville newspaper looking for a new home for puppies. The gentleman was very nice. He described his litter as friendly pups, dark apricot in color and only one female of five puppies in the litter. I made arrangements to go visit and see the puppies that afternoon.
When Gracie came in from school I loaded up the truck and we took a drive deep into the Blue Ridge in search of a little farm in the moutains owned by a lovely Mennonite family.
As we would around a mountain side and into a valley and over a ridge and down into the next valley it took us a bit longer to find the place than I had planned. Just before dark we made our way into a hollow and pulled up to a newish style farmhouse.
The gentleman of the house met me at the door. Wonderful smells of supper poured out of the door and wrapped me in warmth on a cold fall evening. Gracie had no idea why we were at this place. Steve was sleeping in his car seat. I roused them both and went in. In through the the livingroom and to the kitchen where his wife, several daughters, a couple of sons and a littler of puppies where in a flurry of evening activity.
Some girls helped to cook. Some girls set the table. Boys played with puppies and wandered in and out from rooms in the back of the house. The dogs present where two different sizes. I assumed the larger pup was the mother of the litter and the other two were her puppies. I was wrong. The mother was a miniature poodle, some of the other pups where miniatures as well. Two of the pups where toy size. The only girl was a toy. It didn't take much for Gracie to decide that she was the one.
In a matter of a few minutes the deal was sealed. We wound our way out of the mountains and back to the flat lands with a puppy who easily got car sick. Not once but three times before we made it home. Then yet again when Mr. Grumpus held her while Gracie went to change her clothes and bathe. Mr. Grumpus, who did not think he could tolerate much less begin to like a tiny dog, has taken to her like crazy. He is a little intimidated by her size but still very much taken with her.
Our new family member is Abby, a toy poodle, apricot in color with the sweet disposition you could ever imagine.
All of the dogs went to the vet Wednesday morning. That was a bit of a three ring circus. All of the dogs check out in great shape. They all got shots. J.E.B and Ajax got their rabies vaccination. J.E.B will be fixed in two weeks. That might just help him to settle down, too. Ajax won't be big enough for the surgery until sometime in March. The vet was very pleased with them and was really surprised they came from the pound.
Abby will be microchipped next month. She is 2lbs 4oz now and maybe in a month she will gain another pound and it will be easier for them to slip the needle under her skin to inject the chip. She did get her puppy boosters and as yet she is far too small for a rabies vaccine so we will wait until such time as she is big enough.
We had planned to get Abby a sweater to help keep her warm. Steve didn't like the idea of 'dressing up a dog' and wasn't keen on it. The vet recommeded that she have a sweater and his attitude changed. He suggested we should buy the sweater for Colby and Gracie and anything else needed for Abby. And so we did. Last night we made a trip with all the kids and all the puppies to petsmart and went shopping. J.E.B. got a new crate. Ajax got a new rawhide. Steve got a new book. Gracie chose a sweater. colby chose a coat. I chose a lovely shampoo, conditioner and spritz for bathing Abby and keeping her sweet smelling.
I still think we need one more. A small companion for Abby. Abby is one of Colby's and Grace's Christmas presents. Normally I don't think puppies are good to wake up to on Christmas morning because they are often spur of the moment type things to make a big impact but I have really wanted to do this for a very long time for them. Now was the right time.
Now before you groan and say, "OMG, she's gone crazy! You must know I grew up in a family with many dogs. My grandparents had indoor and outdoor dogs. My stepfather had a kennel of hunting dogs (beagles, hounds, bird dogs, etc.) and we had outdoor pets. My mother wasn't crazy about a dog in her house so we were limited to the outdoor variety of pets. When Colby was born that changed and she allowed indoor dogs - go figure. My former in-laws had several small pampered indoor dogs and a few spoiled outdoor dogs.
I have always lived in the coumtry, always had great pets. I've been looking forward to this day for a long time now. Steven is learning to interact with each of the different pets. Gracie is loving being able to take the dogs for a walk and having them to play with.Colby is loving having dogs in the house again and the sound of life all around her. Steve admits he is enjoying watching and interacting with the kids and dogs and traveling as a pack. The dogs go with us everywhere and are really well behaved.
I am feeding the dogs a more natural diet. They get rice, yogurt and eggs in the morning and fresh meat protein and a bit of puppy chow in the evenings. The kennel stench is now gone and their coats are beginning to show a shine. Ajax has lost his bloated belly and the gas is gone. Abby loves her rice, yogurt and eggs in the morning. It is one thing we don't have to hand feed her that she will gobble right up.
Speaking of eggs - I am getting about a dozen or so a day now. I collect twice a day. I hope you can tell the variety of colors. They are gorgeous! Such beautiful dark yolks, too.
It strikes me very funny the reaction to my having gotten a dog. I thank you all for the advice and the comments but you must know I am not a first time dog owner. Because I did not care for the dog Steve had doesn't make me foreign to dogs.
When Colby was 2 years old we had chihuahuas. Funny little dogs that loved Colby. In fact we had 2 by the time she was 7 or 8. Both came to us from a breeder who wanted Colby to have a puppy and simply gave her the pick of their litter. At no charge. They were tiny little teacup dogs. We lived in on the farm where I grew up away from the country road that serviced the area. One day the dogs went out and we could never find them again. We looked and called and hunted for ages. I knew immediately someone had seen the tiny dogs and picked them up and wisked them away. It was heart wrenching to watch Colby pine for her puppies.
The next dog came to us from one of my former BIL's. It was a yellow lab. We took the dog because it was being mistreated by the bulldogs the guy was raising. The dog was left chained day and night with little attention given to him. We tried to rehab this dog but being two years old is was nearly impossible for us to recondition him. We rehomed him to someone who raised labs and felt they would be more successful with him.
The last dog I owned was my favorite. He was my baby. My very best friend in the world (who is now deceased) raise full blooded german shepherds with an incredible german blood line. Huge dogs. Quick to learn. Lovable to the point of licking you silly. CD stood well over six feet on his hind legs and even at his size wanted to sit in my lap. By the time Gracie was born CD had been with me for years. He became super jealous and was at times aggressive. I tried my best to work with him. I went to two different obdience training courses with him. Those seemed to help. When Gracie was about 18 months old we were outside and for no reason with no provocation CD lunged at Grace and barely missed biting her face. I had been quick enough to to prevent any contact by him. That scared me beyond anything I have ever experienced with a dog. I knew then I could not trust him around Grace. I had the choice to put him to sleep or to rehome him. The next day I signed over his papers and he went to live with a single guy who didn't have any children around his home at any time. It was one of the hardest things I ever did.
When Colby was 14 she was given a black mini poodle for her birthday. It was given by her father. At this time I was divorced and he was trying to buy their affection. Zoe was a wonderful little dog. There was a very tragic accident and someone ran over Zoe. It was an experience I hope none of you ever know.
Since that time I have been dogless. I never developed a bond with Steve's dog. And she was Steve's dog. Several times she was agressive with Steven but Steve did not believe it. Any attempt at trying to tell him her behavior when he wasn't around created huge arguements and him with a bad attitude and a chip on his shoulder because everyone was "attacking my dog". It wasn't a good situation to be in. I can't really say I am sorry she is gone. I am sorry she had to go out the way she did. I would not wish being crippled on any of God's creatures.
So, don't worry about me. I know how to handle dogs and have a very long history with my own dogs. It is just since a couple years prior to coming to Virginia that I haven't personally owned a dog.
J.E.B is working out famously!
Ajax is another story. We are having to crate train him. He is one destructive little fur ball. If he gets a chance he will chew anything. His attention is easily diverted to his chew toys but his favorite things to chew are my coffee table (ggrr!) and a couple of Steven's toys. If he gets a chance to slip into the ktichen alone he wants my suede backless slip on shoes (double grr!). Yesterday home alone with him he did not have one accident in the house. when Steve was home over the weekend he let the little monster have 3 accidents on my rug (grrr!). I am not into having a house that smells like a dog lives there!
The dogs did have a kennel stench that was gross. The shelter has a gross dirty dog smell that is rather disgusting. They were hosing down "cleaning" and didn't have any products they were using. I mean, come on, even some pinesol would have helped to eliminate the stink. I actually feel sorry for the dogs there. The kennels where clean but they were not the type where they could wander inside and out in their own pens. They are stuck in a concrete area with concrete floors and an old wooden pallet to sleep on. I actually feel so bad about the consitions there I am considering buying a case of the doggie stink elimintor products and donating them to the shelter.
I do not know what food the dogs where eating while there but whatever it was it left the little puppy with bloat and a huge gas problem. To rid them of the stench and to help get their skin and fur back into shape we used really good dog shampoo and bathed them two days in a row. This helped to rid them of some of the stench. The second thing I have been doing is feeding twice a day with a rice, yogurt and raw egg mixture. They love it! And they do not stink like they did and the puppy is no longer gassy.
So, we are all fine. The dogs are fine. Everyone is adjusting just fine.
And how are you? Did you have a lovely Thanksgiving?
Since the dog has been gone the house has been strangely quiet. Not a noise out of place. No night time jingles of jewelry on a collar. No midnight run of the staircase. No tapping of nails on the hardwood floor. No snoring, farting or loud sighs.No barking at unfamiliar sounds. Just quiet.
Steve and I went out to lunch alone last weekend. Over burgers and beer we talked about how quiet the house was. I asked if we could get another dog. Steve said he would love to have another dog. We discuss the pros and cons of different breeds and narrowed down what we would like to have in the next dog who came into our family. He wanted a German Shepherd. I wanted a Chocolate Lab.
We talked about how with me being the one at home all day that the lion's share of the daily care would fall on me and the dog should be a dog I really liked and cared for as well as a good family dog for everyone to enjoy.
All week long Steve has mentioned what he would like in a family dog. We have looked at petfinder and scouted the possibilities of dogs at local and neighboring county shelters. We had our eye on a couple but due to the holiday weekend all the shelters in 5 counties were closed until next week.
I understand having holidays off but these people are local government employees and someone has to come in and feed and clean up after the dogs so why not open for a few hours friday or saturday? More people are home doing family activities at this time of the year on the weekends you would think they would see this as a perfect time to push pet adoption. Not so in our county.
On a notion I asked Steve to call the Louisa County Shelter. They were open today. The only shelter we could find that was open mind you.
Before we left Steve had a stern talk with the girls about not getting their heart set on a dog, no begging for a dog, and he and I had final approval on a dog. The kids understood completely. Steve didn't listen to himself. He took Steven to the truck and sat in the passenger side waiting for me - he walked out with his cigarettes and his phone. I had to bank the fire and lock up because he was in such a hurry he didn't even think about it. Ha!
We had/have the opportunity to get a pure bred dog but Steve really wanted to see what was at the pound first. So we went looking.
We went in - 5 kennels with 5 dogs - well, 1 puppy and 4 older dogs. The puppy had been surrendered by the owners. When Steve approached the kennel the puppy dropped to the floor and rolled over on his back paws up begging for attention. Steve immediately fell in love with the puppy.
The attendant told me there were a couple of other dogs in another area and asked me if I wanted to look but only one person at a time could go in. I went in and if I saw something interesting Steve could go in and have a look.
There were about 20 kennels mostly full of dogs being held for a longer time before being offered for adoption. The woman went down the row on one side and pointed out a couple of dogs ready to go. I did not like any of them. They were older and not the breeds I am partial to. The woman answered the phone and was away a few minutes then came back and pointed out two more dogs available then a third that would be released for adoption this evening.
I asked if I could take that dog out. She gave me a leash and I took the dog out and let him run and play and do his business. I took him back into the front of the kennel and asked Steve to step out and have a look. Steve put his puppy back in the kennel and stepped out. Some people were milling around outside and the lady behind the desk remarked 3 people had called coming to see the little puppy.
I turned to Steve and said, "If you want that puppy get him now before someone walks out of here with him before you can." You should have seen how quickly he moved! LOL he scooped up that puppy in a flash.
Here we are in the main office with a puppy and a nine month old dog and 
there was no debate or haggling or choosing.
We came home with two new family members today.
Both dogs had been surrendered by their owners.
Meet Ajax.
He is a 12 week old german shepherd - laborador mix. Steve has quickly spoiled himed him rotten. As I type he and Ajax are on the floor snuggled by the fire. He is stroking and petting and rubbing his sleeping baby.
Ajax is a very sweet puppy. He is shy and little timid. He friendly and is quickly learning to play. He is not house broken. He is not fixed (yet). In due time all of this will be corrected. We were surprised that this shelter didn't take care of those things themselves from the start.
Meet J.E.B.
He is a 9 month old chocolate lab - german pointer mix. He is an active boy and has yet to make a sound beyond one whine. He has learned quickly to sit and stay. He doesn't know how to play. He is now asleep over by the fireplace, too.
We went out pet shopping, taking both dogs with us, to pick up a new dog bed, two new collars and leashes, dog shampoo (both have awful flakey dandruff) and other odds and ends and treats. We spent too much money on these two dogs. We also got them new engraved dog tags.
The woman at the shelter fudged (shhhhhhhh) and let me have J.E.B today instead of making us wait and come back for him monday. He has not been fixed but will be as soon as I can get an appointment with the vet.
They both need their rabies and lyme disease vacs. They both need to be fixed. The shelter gave us an extended period until late February to meet those needs as it gets expensive doing this for two dogs at the same time. I thanked her kindly.
They both got a much needed bath this evening. Then they were given their new dog beds (yes, we chose two extra large dog beds and J.E.B won't lay on his!), chew toys and bones. They have drank gallons of water and eaten like pigs. They can't seem to get enough to drink or eat this evening. J.E.B is a bit skinny and could use some meet on his bones. The puppy is growing fast and will need a little extra as well.
The only problem I have at the moment is that the little one, Steve has nicknamed him 'little bit', is a farter. he has been asleep over there for over and hour and the farts coming out that puppy is disgusting. OMG he stinks. They just make Steve laugh like a fool.
When we brought them home this evening we put them out back in the fenced yard. J.E.B immediately went over to the pool and walked across the pool cover which isn't completely fastened down yet and fell in. He was floundering in the deep end and couldn't get out (the water is pulled way down and the steps are covered. Steve went tearing across the yard and pulled him out. I thought for sure he was going to dive in after him. Not 20 minutes later Ajax did the same thing. Dumb dogs! The water is like ice! We had to dry them both and bring them in to get warm.
So, we have two new dogs. I like them both. We should all live happily ever after now.
Who looks happier, Steve or the puppy?
One more thing. We named the dogs. J.E.B didn't have a name at the shelter and Ajax was being called Peter by a volunteer. He doesn't look like a Peter nor does he even answer to that name.
I had this long detailed post written about how my mother is here and how she is helping me to get caught up and how thankful I am to have her here and how much she has lightened my load and about how I would be able to get a great Thanksgiving Day dinner on the table because she had taken over alot of my chores and gotten me all caught up. My house is clean, alot of the prep work has been done and she caught up the laundry and the general daily house chores.
This morning we were looking forward to yet another productive day.
Until she fell on the last two steps of my front hall staircase. She said her foot twisted. She has been taken to the ER.
I will update later.
Thank you everyone.
The deed has been done. It is finished.
If you read the last entry you will note -
He made an appointment to have her put to sleep.
He has done the right thing. It can only be done when the vet is available. We couldn't run right out and just do it.
No more bashing Steve in the comments. I will not tolerate it.
The dog is being put to sleep this evening. He spent yesterday evening digging her grave and metally preparing for what is to come.
We have had a very long talk and worked out the hostility and frustration and anger and hurt feelings. It was more a misunderstanding and trying to cope more than opposing views of what needs to be done.
Please be kind. My husband is not a bad guy. He is however dealing with the loss of his companion of 11 years. I don't know how to comfort him and this causes frustration. I don't know what he is feeling because where I come from things were handled much differently on our farm.
We are in this together and there never was a strain on our marriage. There was however a big hump in the road.
It was warm and sunny yesterday. I took the dog out and put her in the sunshine. She spent the entire afternoon in the sun. She sat up. She laid down. She barked and panted. She did not move from her spot. She is completely paralyzed. Shen we move her she cries out so we know that now she is in pain. She is being made comfortable. She is eating well. She is still taking her meds. She is living out her last day.
This evening will be hard when he brings her home to her final resting place.
Say a prayer for us.
Thank you all for your comments and emails. Most of them were very kind.
Let me make it clear that I have not been on the sidelines chanting 'put the dog down'. Neither have I been a cheerleader with every movement of a leg or toe. I have not overly encouraged him or discouraged him in any way. She is not showing real improvement and I can't play into the "Look! Her leg moved. Everything is fine now" game. It is wrong. Someone has to be a grown up here and it seems to always fall on me.
I was asked to help make a desicion and I refused to participate. She is not my dog. I also won't have it come back to haunt me that I had the ultimate sway in how things played out. I have made it very clear I will not be care taker or nursemaid to a dog. I did NOT take wedding vows "in sickness and in health" with any dog included as part of my commiment to my marriage.
The dog has had her steroid shots. She has been given oral steroids as prescribed. She has been crated since I brought her home from the vet last week. She has shown a tiny bit of improvement. She can stand on her back legs about one minute then she lists to the side and goes down. Which isn't really improvement at all. She can't walk on her own. She is sleeping far more than she ever slept before. She is taken out frequently to do her business but she still has accidents. Weither she can control that completely or not I am not sure.
Steve has taken this very hard. I have been as supportive as I can be but I won't tell him everything will be okay when obviously it is not. I won't be the one to blow smoke up his ass and make him feel better just to let this dog continue to linger in this state and myself being forced to be the caregiver every day. It is not fair to anyone involved. Especially not the dog.
He has reluctantly called the vet, who discussed having treated the dog with him, and the time has come to realize she will not recover. He made an appointment to have her put to sleep. I feel like when he even discusses the situation he is pointing invisible fingers at me and blaming me for something. When asked he won't discuss it. So even by not saying anything and not weighing-in to help make a choice I feel like I am going to carry the lion's share of the burden forever in having this dog put down. Thirty years from now I will be one who ultimately made him put his dog down. I can already feel it in the air. It is an unspoken communication hovering there.
I am very tired of having to be the strong one all of the time.
Over the weekend I noticed Steve's dog was having a bit of trouble walking. It seemed to occur when she was outside laying in the sunshine for extended periods of time. She would get stiff and take a bit before she could walk it out and get to moving. I thought she was having a case of arthiritis as the weather is turning colder and she is moving toward 11 years old.
By Tuesday she could not stand up at all on her hind legs. They would not function at all. She was pulling herself with her front legs to go were she wanted to be. I called the vet then called Steve.
I don't want to seem cold hearted but I did try to prepare Steve for the fact she could have had a stroke. She was shaking, panting and paralyzed from mid back down. Also that if it was something that would leave her paralyzed and crippled and could not be corrected I was not prepared to tend to her day after day and he would have to decide what to do.
In my opinion there is no quality of life for a dog who can't move around. I also asked him to decide how much was too much to pay for treatment and what i was supposed to do when I took in. He had few answers and I could tell he was completely uncomfortable with entire situation.
That evening when Steve came home he sat with the dog and acted like she was on life support and the plug was going to be pulled. He has NEVER shown her that much attention and it pissed me off that he didn't want anyone to touch her, hardly look at her and he couldn't help with Steven or other things because he couldn't drag himself away from 'his dog' - who he has always declared he didn't really care for but his actions always speak louder then words.
Myself - I hate this dog. And I have good reason to.
Wednesday I took her to the vet's office. After a quick look the vet knew immediately what the problem was.
Steve's dog has a slipped disk. It is not uncommon and something seen relatively often in older dogs who can't seem to keep away from running up and down staircases. She did an exam to determine her level of paralysis and other things and gave her a shot of steroids, some oral meds and said to watch her for about 5 days.
The dog has some sense of pain and reaction in her hind legs. She is partially paralyzed. It is a 50/50 thing right now that she may or may not recover. The meds will help the disk to shrink and hopefully go back in place. For now she has to be crated for 24 hours a day except when we take her out for bathroom breaks. Steve looks at every sign as she is recovering. I don't see any improvement from how she was at the vet's office.
We have been using a sling around her rear end to help her get out side to go to the bathroom. She has NO use, none at all, in her back legs. Moving a foot does not show me any sign of improvement. She could do that in the vets office. Steve acts like it is a 100% recovery. I don't know ho wmuch longer I can be nice or civil about this situation to him.
I am not looking forward to having her put to sleep. I am not trying to make him have her put to sleep. I am trying to make him stop thinking just because she flexed a toe she is recovered.
He is gone 14 hours or more a day. The care of everything here is on my shoulders. I absolutely refuse to be tied down to an animal who can't do nothing but drag around pitifully and look at your with sad eyes. Now, again, I am the mean one. I am being uncopperative. I am looking for reasons to put her down. Etc. Etc. Blah, blah, blah.
If she does recover and can stand on her hind legs and move herself around, She must be crated every night and she can never be allowed to climb stairs again. And this sitaution can happen again which will most likely leave her completely paralyzed.
The vet told me in all honesty that if she doesn't get back up on her legs in the next 3 or 4 days she most likely never will. For me, in that case, the answer is plain. She will have no quality of live. she won't be able to run or chase the cat or groundhogs or squirrels. She'll be a dog who lays on a pillow and can't even take herself out to relieve herself. That is no life.
Somebody tell me I am not being mean and cruel in my refusal to play nursemaid to this dog.
This is one of my buff orpingtons trying to lay an egg. They get rather loud when they are on the nest.
All of my girls are gearing up to lay.
I got eight eggs yesterday. Lovely brown farm fresh eggs.
Again the video and the photos are form my phone. Pardon the image quality.
I was out at the barn yesterday morning and I had my phone in my pocket. I was milking my goat. Only I couldn't show you how I really milk because I couldn't use both hands. I had to hold the phone and milk with one hand. It is a bit grainy but it is video from a cell phone.
And when I finished I had 4 quarts of fresh milk.
It takes about 15 minutes to milk her out. Quick and easy.
At two days shy of 21 months Steven came to me this morning clutching his hiney and saying, "Potty." Sure enough his morning constitutional had taken place. This surprised me but also told me that it has finally clicked in his head that his urge is related to the potty.
This afternoon he came to the hall door and in a whiney voice kept saying, 'potty, potty, potty.' I opened the door and he led me to the bathroom and went straight to the potty. He raised the lid and tried to take off his pants.
I helped him off with his pants, took off his diaper and set him on the potty.
Steven pee pee'd in the potty!
Yayyyyyyy for children who try to potty train themselves!
He was dressed as a little chick. Did you really think I would vary from my theme?
Here is the crew just before they went out.
What would trick-or-treating be without a Scarlett O'Hara?
Once again I am setting myself up for failure for the month of November.
Please, stay tuned.
For those who were concerned. Chicken people are honorable and most are reputable. The eggs are no big deal. They will be replaced at no charge and I'll try again sometime this month. I am one of those crazy chicken people and I plan to some day have me a flock of blue, black and jubilee orpingtons. I will!
