Doggie Duty
Over the weekend I noticed Steve's dog was having a bit of trouble walking. It seemed to occur when she was outside laying in the sunshine for extended periods of time. She would get stiff and take a bit before she could walk it out and get to moving. I thought she was having a case of arthiritis as the weather is turning colder and she is moving toward 11 years old.
By Tuesday she could not stand up at all on her hind legs. They would not function at all. She was pulling herself with her front legs to go were she wanted to be. I called the vet then called Steve.
I don't want to seem cold hearted but I did try to prepare Steve for the fact she could have had a stroke. She was shaking, panting and paralyzed from mid back down. Also that if it was something that would leave her paralyzed and crippled and could not be corrected I was not prepared to tend to her day after day and he would have to decide what to do.
In my opinion there is no quality of life for a dog who can't move around. I also asked him to decide how much was too much to pay for treatment and what i was supposed to do when I took in. He had few answers and I could tell he was completely uncomfortable with entire situation.
That evening when Steve came home he sat with the dog and acted like she was on life support and the plug was going to be pulled. He has NEVER shown her that much attention and it pissed me off that he didn't want anyone to touch her, hardly look at her and he couldn't help with Steven or other things because he couldn't drag himself away from 'his dog' - who he has always declared he didn't really care for but his actions always speak louder then words.
Myself - I hate this dog. And I have good reason to.
Wednesday I took her to the vet's office. After a quick look the vet knew immediately what the problem was.
Steve's dog has a slipped disk. It is not uncommon and something seen relatively often in older dogs who can't seem to keep away from running up and down staircases. She did an exam to determine her level of paralysis and other things and gave her a shot of steroids, some oral meds and said to watch her for about 5 days.
The dog has some sense of pain and reaction in her hind legs. She is partially paralyzed. It is a 50/50 thing right now that she may or may not recover. The meds will help the disk to shrink and hopefully go back in place. For now she has to be crated for 24 hours a day except when we take her out for bathroom breaks. Steve looks at every sign as she is recovering. I don't see any improvement from how she was at the vet's office.
We have been using a sling around her rear end to help her get out side to go to the bathroom. She has NO use, none at all, in her back legs. Moving a foot does not show me any sign of improvement. She could do that in the vets office. Steve acts like it is a 100% recovery. I don't know ho wmuch longer I can be nice or civil about this situation to him.
I am not looking forward to having her put to sleep. I am not trying to make him have her put to sleep. I am trying to make him stop thinking just because she flexed a toe she is recovered.
He is gone 14 hours or more a day. The care of everything here is on my shoulders. I absolutely refuse to be tied down to an animal who can't do nothing but drag around pitifully and look at your with sad eyes. Now, again, I am the mean one. I am being uncopperative. I am looking for reasons to put her down. Etc. Etc. Blah, blah, blah.
If she does recover and can stand on her hind legs and move herself around, She must be crated every night and she can never be allowed to climb stairs again. And this sitaution can happen again which will most likely leave her completely paralyzed.
The vet told me in all honesty that if she doesn't get back up on her legs in the next 3 or 4 days she most likely never will. For me, in that case, the answer is plain. She will have no quality of live. she won't be able to run or chase the cat or groundhogs or squirrels. She'll be a dog who lays on a pillow and can't even take herself out to relieve herself. That is no life.
Somebody tell me I am not being mean and cruel in my refusal to play nursemaid to this dog.
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Years ago we adopted an overweight yellow lab named Buck from friends who weren't able to spend time with him anymore. Buck was mild-mannered and happy and very easy to care for - but then he got hit by a car & broke his back hip. After two surgeries, the bones wouldn't set. He was just too big for them to heal. He couldn't walk and couldn't even really pull the weight of his body around on his front legs. We decided it was no way for a dog to live & had him put to sleep - but, man, that decision was hard on all of us.
For what its worth I'm with ya, what kind of life is that for the dog? And damn Angie, I'd be wicked pissed. There is a difference between being practical and being cruel. To add the care of a lame animal on top of everything else you're doing? Is too much to ask.
The decision to have Bear put to sleep was easy, he was suffering. Having to live without the dog has been heartbreaking. Actually, you must have more love for that dog than you realize. If you didn't care you would let her continue to be in pain. Even if you were lazy like me you would still not want the dog to suffer.
For a big dog 11 years is a long life. I do feel for Steve and his unwillingness to let go. He is only prolonging the inevitable, and it won't make it any easier in the long run. Hope he finds the strength to do the right thing soon.
Wow. I'm sorry, and this is just the vibe I'm getting from that post and the one you linked to, but it reads like you hate the dog and are seriously pushing to have it put to sleep and not only that, you're blaming Steve for caring. I don't see my family every day but I know if one of them was knocking on death's door, I would want to spend as much time with as possible and I think that's all Steve is doing. (I know dogs are different from family but to some people, they love their dogs just as much.)
You talk about all that you do on the farm but you seem to forget the reason you are able to stay at home and do those things is because you have a husband who works all those hours.
And my not working outside the home has what to do with caring for a paralyzed invalid dog? Because I don't have a full time job out side of my home I am supposed to embrace the physical care of a dog that I do not like? A dog that can do nothing for itself should be put to sleep. If it were my chicken or goats it would be no different.
Well, Angie, I'm goingto let you and Steve work this out, but I will tell you that some friends of mine who loved their dog like child, eventually put him to sleep when he was no longer able to walk.
Of course, Mary could walk him in a stroller for you, if you ask her.
I read the 2005 post and man, you are funny sometimes! The good news is that now the dog can't possibly shit in every corner of the house.
Wait a few days and see what happens. Good luck.
To me, the most important issue here is the quality of life of the poor dog. I would not hesitate to put down a dog, or any creature, that was suffering or incapacitated. One of the reasons that we were able to keep Clyde going for so long is that he was so small it was easy to pick him up and carry him outside or up the stairs. He was not in pain, and he still enjoyed his food and our company. In the case of Steve's dog, it sounds to me that it is time to make a decision. It's not fair of Steve to ask you to add full-time nursing care of the dog to your list of stuff to do, and it's really, really, REALLY not fair to the dog to be at the end of her life, and just be considered a nuisance. Whether you are bonded to her or not, she is still a member of your pack. Steve needs to step up to the plate and do the right thing.
I have spoken.
Remember your wedding vows: for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in (dog's) sickness and in (dog's) health.
I'd put no pressure on Steve and let him observe the dog this weekend. I'm sure he'll make the right decision.
As a dog person, I more than understand Steve's side.
However, I am sorry that the bulk of the stress falls on you.
As Poppy noted, please give Steve this weekend to observe her and see exactly what it will take to care for her. This is an extremely hard choice to make, especially when it involves a 'family member'.
Best wishes for you and yours.
Awww. I'm sorry the poor pup has to go through that. I myself have had a slipped disk so I know it must not be fun for her. I completley agree with you. Give it the days it should take to recover, if that does not happen, sadly I would agree the decision to put her down should be made. I'm always one for * if it were you * a human* put in that situation would we put you down? but when it comes to reality... she is a dog.. not a human. I know those words sound cruel and selfish, but she is also 11 years old. That's not necissarily old for a dog, but it's not a pup either.
We had a dog her name was Dutchess... a yellow lab, come her 12th birthday she wasn't able to make it outside at times and had many accidents. Her hind legs just didn't allow her to get up and move. She was stiff and sore. One day she'd need help outside, the next she was running around like a puppy. Finally one day it took her a few days to get better, but our decision was already made. We said our goodbye's before bed, and since she was my brother's best friend, he had the hardest time with it. The next day was to be the day. She was running around like a puppy. She hopped right into the truck all excited to go for a ride. Broke my heart. But we knew it had to be done.
I hope things get better and/or easier for you all.
Hugs
I had two large boxers at the same time. One turned 10 and had a tumor in his lung. The oncologist suggested removal of the tumor, chances of survival were 50%. He could not climb steps, which was not practical in the layout of our house, run, or do the day to day living he was used to after the surgery. My immediate reaction was to remove the tumor and live with the consequences. The day before the surgery I questioned who was I doing this for, me or him? His quality of life would be reduced to basically nothing. I decided to put him down.
Second Boxer developed cancer at 11 years old. Four surgeries afterward, a fifth bout occured. My vet, a friend, came to my house and said, I'll do the surgery, but you know you will be back in a month or two.
She was put down. Two of the hardest decisions I ever made. I had to take my emotions out of the picture and do what was best for them.
I know it is not easy, I know it is heart wrenching, but you have to do what is best for the quality of life for the animal involved.
I love dogs but also realize I am their caretaker and responsible for their well being and quality of life.
There comes a time when the right thing to do is the hardest thing to do.
I wish you both the best. Please let us know your decesion. I will support you either way. Only you know what is best.
I'm sorry that Steve is not seeing the reality of the situation. Ask him to stay home to take care of her alone for a full day with the little ones at home with him while you go out and about and see what his answer is after that.
The suspense is killing me, here.
Oooh, I like Liz's idea. Can you make yourself scarce for most of a Saturday?
Read a little about the dog and its problems. Once had a dog for about 7 years, and it was a good friend and an excellent hunter! Well to make a long story short, he came down with some sort of growth on his neck and was in a lot of pain and could hardley move. Vet said he had to be put down. This dog was loved by me and my Father. He was special and I could not let someone that didn't know him put him down. He and I took a ride to the back forty and I came home alone. That was not fun and was painfull! But it needed doing and I loved him so I did it!
No brag just fact! I only wish if it comes to that and I am suffering that someone I care for will do the same for me!
Randy