Angie: May 2004 Archives

So ... Steve's Mom and Dad gave him a new grill for his birthday .. an early present so he has the entire summer to enjoy it .. His birthday is in July .. almost a 4th baby. Anywho .... We have waited till today to use the grill. You know, christening it on Memorial Day while his parents are here for a BBQ supper. Steve hooks up the new, freshly filled tank that was part of the gift. Checks everything and then lights the burners. Well, we are standing there and he says several times, "Do you smell gas?" "Yes," I say. He gets the soap and begins hunting for a leak. "Do you smell gas?" He asks again. Sniff. Sniff. Sniff. "Yes, I smell gas." He's looking underneath and suddenly ... jets of flame come out where the grill parts attach to the burner thingies. I am thinking he is going to set his damn hair on fire and he turns off the burners first ... not the source ... ok enough scares for me. Well now, he inspects everything and after awhile he tries it again. The grill is burning and the lava rocks are heating up, the newness is burning off, I am thinking I'll get the slabs of ribs going on a low slow heat so they will be nice and tender. "Wooophhhh!" The damn thing jets fire again. AND!!! ... almost a half of tank of gas is burned out in less than 15 min. The tank is supposed to burn for about 20 hours of cooking time!! The grill if off. We are cooking on the old grill with charcoals. (Meat smells great this morning lol.) Had I put the ribs on that grill, I would have walked off and not come back for a while!! It is a scarey thought to have because the damn house would have burned down with the flames jetting uder the grill!! They would not have been detected from inside the house!!! The grill is going back. It is a Weber. We are not getting that model again!! Happy Early Birthday, Steven ... I was up till 12am cooking pork shoulders for chipped BBQ for today. I let them slow roast for about 4 hour last night, then they cook about 5 hours today. The food was delicious. I sent home a care package for Steve's Mom and Dad to have a couple nights this week. I hope they enjoy it. We picked J. up yesterday evening and his Mom and Dad came over to bring a ladder so we could clean the gutters and J. with home with them to spend the night. I am a bit miffed with his mother. We had planned to take the girls out together to see Shrek 2 but his mother took J. to the movies this morning instead. Oh, well, so much for the plan of a family outing. I am really starting to wear thin the way things work around here. And I am ready to stop giving in and when I blow, it won't be pretty. :-(

We have gotten so much done around here it's almost a miracle... but the bank account reads like sin lmfao. This is all the little (tongue in cheek) chores we have accomplished. As I said before, I got my curtains, well part of them in mail. Steve put up my new robs and the holders used in place of tie backs. He calls them money hamgers for some God aweful reason. He is a perfectionist and as always measures everything out with a level and leaves pencil marks on the walls. It took him an hour to mount 4 metal brackets and 4 hold backs. I raised the height of the curtains to the ceiling and extended them by 7 inches out on either side of the windows. It is a dramatic change. The bedroom ceiling is vaulted and the windows looked too small. The curtains now hang ceiling to floor and the extra width brings them into more proportion to the room. They are very gossamer white almost like mosquito netting sheers with the 6 yard scarf valance at the top. They are looking awesome!! He also replaced the broken light fixtures outside. On the deck we installed a carriage lamp. At garden level we installed a very simple fixture with a clear glass globe. He says if the glass breaks he's just gonna replace it with a mayonnaise jar. LOL He also replaced the main light at the front entrance way. The house looks so very neat and tidy now. He installed the light for the ceiling fan in the living room. He didn't really think it would work but I told him those things are standard. It was simple as I said it would be. He also installed a ceiling fan in the dinning portion of the kitchen. We now have beautiful white fan lights instead of this hideous white globe thing with this monsterous wicker yellowed-with-age light shade thingy. Whomever chose that thing for this place was a nut.... Ummm, hint it was NOT Steve lol He built his Dad a file server for his birthday. It has so many things installed on it. It took several hours to configure it. His dad will love it. I am running RedHat9 on this machine and he chose to install that on his dad's server along with apache, samba and all sorts of other goodies. Way cool!! He sanded the guest bathroom and it is now ready for painting. Just about the only thing left to do is gutters. In the morning he will climb the ladder and clean those. WOW! I can't believe he got everything done on the list. The gutters were not on the list. He added those himself. Let's see, what's left to do? Paint the guest bathroom and hang the wallpaper. Paint the kitchen and hang the wallpaper. Paint our bedroom and bathroom. I want a new dining table for the formal dining and the current table will replace the worn out chrome and glass table in the kitchen. I also want to have the matching loveseat and chair with ottoman that matches the new sofa in the living for the downstairs TV room. The sofa there is worn out not only with age, but wear and tear and it is FAR too big for the room. We can't arrange the furniture properly to take advantage of the fire place. An "L" shaped sofa in a tiny room is a bad idea. Once the downstairs gets painted that will be every room in the house with a fresh coat of paint. Most of the house, safe for some trim hasn't been painted since this place built 10 yrs ago. I would love to do something with this study but I gave my word (so he says, I do not remember it) to leave the study alone and let him manage it. But this room is yellowish with age and there are patches in the wall and ceiling where there had been a leak fixed ages ago that was never painted over. Nearly every room has been rearranged and organized. My heavens this place has really gotten more than it's fair share of work out of me. It is a constant battle to over come the dog hair that needs vacuuming daily. I mean what I say. When the current pets have passed on to their own pet heavens.. NO MORE PETS!!! I cannot believe the temp today. The forecast said it would be around 82. I would be willing to bet it barely reached 62 and it was overcast with off and on drizzly showers all day. I love days like today but it could stand to be a bit warmer. Time for bed. Goodnight, World.

Haha!! We must be boring people. There is nothing new or eventful happening around here. Steve's treatment is moving along positively. There is nothing to report. I've been watching his diet. He hasn't had pain, discomfort or heartburn except a few mild times when the stress at work was boiling. We have cut him back to 1 set of vitamins daily and the licorice 3 times a day still. Our science project is uneventful. His mom brought him an early birthday present on thursday afternoon. His birthday is July 2 and his mom and dad wanted him to have plenty of time to enjoy his gift. She dropped off a new Weber gas grill. Very cool. He likes to grill. We are BBQing Monday. Here's my honey-do list for today: Re-key the front lock. Sand the guest bathroom so I can finish painting. Work on the server purchased for his Dad's bday. Buy and install 2 new curtain rods in the bedroom. Clean the gutters. Look for new light fixtures for the 2 back entrances and the front porch. Guess we are going to be busy! My new duvet cover and shams arrived. It is lovely. It is called "Angela". It is a natural colored damask. Really nice. My new curtains arrived, too. Yahhh!! I found the girls the sweetest chenille bedspreads finally!! I got them at JC Penny's and paid only $12.49 each. From ebay I won the bid on 2 vintage white chenille throws and got those little gems for $7.99. I am so cheap. I refuse to pay retail lol We got a sweet deal on 3 APC back UPS. They were free. Some company in the same building as Steve's office were going to throw them out and buy new ones, they offered them to Steve and his network admin, so they took them. Cost us $25 with shipping for the replacement batteries. How sweet is that? New APC's run around $90. I also found on ebay replacement power supplies for Red. With half our network down Steve is feeling a bit nekkid. lol He ordered new RAM for it too. Soon Red will be back up and running very sweetly. The guy had 2, I bought them, $18 and $18.50 plus shipping, by far beats the advertised prices of $50 each from other sources!! My garden is doing great. The abundance of rain his been exactly what it needed. We now have some peppers that are about 3 inches long. :-) I think I am suffering with PMS this week. I feel completely drained of energy like I could sleep all day if I could. But even tho I am tired I feel restless. Guess that is the source of my honey-do list. I was up at 2am tried to sleep but got up at 2:30 am. It is now 3:48 and I think I may lay back down for while. My eyes feel the tiniest bit heavy now. But first some tea ... iced. Later :-)

Same song and dance. J. is dropped off, I get her fed and ready, then we are off to school after we call Steve and have good mornings. After I dropped J. off at school, I kissed her sweet face and told her we would see her Sunday afternoon. Since Monday is a holiday Steve get's that day with J. and we will take her to school Tuesday morning. I am leaving the school. I make the right turn onto Prince William Parkway. Guess who I pass? You know it. There is J.'s mom in her red truck with the "drgn ess" personal tag. Why in the hell can't she act like a mother and take her child to school if she is going to be with a couple miles of school when it is time to drop her child off? Why does she bring her here instead? One day she will regret not being a better mother than she is. Children are very loyal to their mother, even a bad mother but one day her daughter is going to start piecing everything together and the big picture is not going to be a pretty one. She gets no respect from me. I think she only cares about how she can use that child to get what she wants ... money. If she ever spends any of the child support directly on the child, I would be amazed. Other than 1 outfit this week, I have not since January seen her with anything her mother bought. Most of the clothes she has been wearing to school are old and some have long since seen better days. The shoes she wears Steve's mom bought for her because her other ones where worn out and her mother had not replaced them. I would be ashamed. I know it hurts Steve to see it and hurts him very deeply. He pays alot of money in child support and sees little to no result. It also hurts his mother to see her oldest and only granddaughter not provided for by her mother in the means she has to do so. I have always done without or bought for myself last. I have always taken what I have and made sure my children had the clothing they needed and didn't walk around looking thrown away. I don't understand how a woman who calls herself a mother can be so selfish and not see her child needs things and not provide those things. It is a sad thing to see and out of my hands.

Steve took J. to school this morning then he was off to work. It was an uneventufl day. nothing out of the norm happened. One thought left over from yesterday. When his ex dropped J. off, it was with the understanding that we would be picking her up from school. The first thing she said was give me a hug, I won't see you till tomorrow afternoon. I honestly believe she was pulling the clothes stunt. She brought J. over, knowing it was Steve's night to have her and she didn't bother to bring the child any clothes. Nothing. Just J. and her book bag. Good thing I had one outfit from the other day in the washer and ironed it for her to wear. Who in their right mind takes a child off to spend the night and doesn't bring the first piece of clothing with them? I give up. I won't ever understand this woman ... not that I try very often unless it concerns J. I have to go to bed. I am sleepy.

Today was Colby's birthday party. Her birthday was Tuesday but she wanted to wait till the weekend when Jacy could be here and his parents could come over and celebrate with us. We had a great time. We cooked out on the grill, roasted corn on the cob, shrimp, salad from our garden, scallops, and sauteed asparagus. Her birthday cake wasn't really a cake. It was a cheesecake or rather a cheese pie lol .. anyway ... she had a blueberry cheesecake for her birthday cake. Steven's parents were very sweet. Since Colby has decided she is going to go to Chef's school, his mom gave her a cookbook from her own kitchen. Not just any cook book. She gave her her own personal southern living cookbook for the year 1987. The year Colby was born. It made the gift extra special. They also gave her a recipe box to start her own collection .. not knowing she already has her own collection. She got far too much for her birthday lol. Let's recount her stash ... My mom sent a check and she got a new bathing suit and a wrap, a cute little compact and lipstick that is really a note pad and pen which I took her shopping for earlier then ... a beach bag, a new beach towel, a pink poodle umbrella, 5 or 6 books (thank heavens for amazon sellers lol) mostly on the subject of the Empress Josephine and the Romanovs, jeans and a shirt, a dvd .. school of rock, 2 cd's jet - get born and maroon 5 songs about Jane, a chef's knife, a lap desk and stand, a book on faberge eggs, new pajamas that say "glamour puss" with cats in sunglasses, bedroom slippers .. pink fluffy dogs with bows in their hair .. I said fluffy, not fuzzy .. I can't remember what else. The main gift for her birthday did not arrive completely. I ordered her first pieces of a Russian tea set but only the 2 dessert plates came :-( I am anxiously awaiting for the tea cups with lids and saucers to come. That was supposed to be the very best birthday present but now she only has the 2 pieces .. oh, well, lesson learned. It takes more than 6 weeks for airmail from Russia to get to the states. Oh, note of interest ... the shipping tags and packaging read "from Russia with love" lol

May 7 I was really drained yesterday by this cold. Steve and I both have a really bad case of sinus and coughing. Yuck. We are on the upward swing now I think. Anyway, instead of juicing fresh veggies I sent him off to work with a container of pineapple juice from a can with his Vit. C crystals in it. He took all his vits and other herbals before he left at 5:45 am. Noon: He had a nice fat muffin and tea. Supper: This cold left me really feeling queasy and I wasn't in the mood for supper. Neither was Steve. Niether was Colby. It was around 8 we decided to pan fry a small burger and had a few fries. He has his on a whole wheat seseame roll, with lettuce and took his herbals. There was a storm brewing and we went earlier in the evening to Lowe's for 2 shrubs to replace 2 out front that just have not thrived thru the winter. We also picked up landscape timbers and some top soil for the raised beds for my garden. We have a great looking container garden now, but some things really need the soil in the ground to produce. Today we plan to do some yard work and get the plants in. I think I am going to start journalling the things we do in the garden and take pictures of the progress.

I was really drained yesterday by this cold. Steve and I both have a really bad case of sinus and coughing. Yuck. We are on the upward swing now I think. Anyway, instead of juicing fresh veggies I sent him off to work with a container of pineapple juice from a can with his Vit. C crystals in it. He took all his vits and other herbals before he left at 5:45 am. Noon: He had a nice fat muffin and tea. Supper: This cold left me really feeling queasy and I wasn't in the mood for supper. Neither was Steve. Niether was Colby. It was around 8 we decided to pan fry a small burger and had a few fries. He has his on a whole wheat seseame roll, with lettuce and took his herbals. There was a storm brewing and we went earlier in the evening to Lowe's for 2 shrubs to replace 2 out front that just have not thrived thru the winter. We also picked up landscape timbers and some top soil for the raised beds for my garden. We have a great looking container garden now, but some things really need the soil in the ground to produce. Today we plan to do some yard work and get the plants in. I think I am going to start journalling the things we do in the garden and take pictures of the progress.

I have been making some of my own recipes with tastes that I like. Here are a couple we are having for supper today. Angie's Broccoli Salad 1 head fresh broccoli 1/4 grated cheddar cheese 1/3 cup chopped spanish olives 2 tbsp finely minced vidalia onion 1/4 cup raisins 1/4 cup chopped walnuts 3 tbsp Dukes mayonaise You must use Dukes, you might even substitute Sauer's Mayo, but for any other mayonaises I can't say it will taste the same. I hate Kraft, Hellman's and all those other yucky mayo/dressings. Ack!!! Wash and drain the broccoli. Snip the flowerettes apart in small bite sizes. Peel and slice thinly the tender stalks. Mix with all other ingredients and chill. This goes well with some left over cold chicken diced, too. However, I did not add the meat to this dish tonight. Steve had too much meat last night.

Angie's Cucumber Salad 2 cucumbers, peeled and diced 1 - 2 tbsp fresh finely chopped dillweed 2 tbsp sour cream dash of lemon juice salt and pepper to taste Mix well. Chill before serving. I peeled the cukes for this salad as they were from the market and had been waxed. had they been from my own garden ... the cukes aren't ready yet :-) ... I would have simply washed and diced them. If you want you can cut in halve and seed the cukes first. These were young medium sized cukes and I used the complete vegetable. I start with 1 tbsp of dill and taste it. If the flavor balance isn't correct then I add more. Cucumber and dill is great combination for a fresh summer taste. I figured cucumber sandwiches are a tasty treat why not leave out the bread and have it for a salad.

Angie's Cantaloupe Salad 1 fresh cantaloupe 1 tsp organic honey 2 tbsp vanilla lowfat yogurt Seed and slice the cantaloupe into small bite sized pieces. Drizzle with honey. Toss well with yogurt. Chill before serving.

This morning Steve had fresh cabbage, carrot, apple juice with his Vit. C crystals and his herbals and 1 tsp Manuka Honey. For lunch I sent a large whole grain bagle. For supper he is having the salads and his herbals plus 2 prunes. He has had no heartburn or discomfort today. He is contimuing to drink herb teas with his meals and water inbetween. Note - I REALLY like the juicer we chose. It has a very strong motor and is VERY easy to clean up after. I was a bit skeptic about making juices, altho I do know they are better for us than the store bought ones. Since we just made apple juice last night and I knew it tasted like eating apples I knew this mornings juice would taste like eating fresh cabbage. I faked it pretty well with a lot of smiles as I proceeded to extract the juices. i added the carrot to cut the cabbage taste and an apple to give it a bit of natural sweetness. I wasn't that bad but it was like drinking your vitamins. Mmmmmm .... I am my own greatest down fall lol Now I have to drink this stuff too. Actually to be serious it was very energizing. I had about 4 oz to Steve's 8 oz and I felt great this morning, wasn't even hungry for lunch.

We are so sick :-/ OMG, my throat feels like I had a tonsilectomy and someone forgot to tell me about it. :-( I have been up since 4am with draining sinus, coughing, my throat sore, coughing makes my chest burn ... Grrrrrrrrr ... I hate being sick!!! Steve is showing mild improvement. I think his fever broke but not really sure, he is cycling hot and cold still. I think he is going to try and go to work today. Here's the daily update. May 4: (He was home so I kept him filled to the brim) Early AM: Warm Herbal Tea with 1 tsp Manuka Honey Less Early AM: Juice with Vit. C and the herbal tabs and Vit. Mid AM: Muffin and Herbal Tea Lunch: Cabbage Salad and Homemade Vegetable Soup Supper: Homemade Vegetable Soup, Chicken Sandwich on multi rye with spinach and broccoli sprouts with a yogurt and Manuka Honey dressing. Late Night: 1 Bag of microwave popcorn. No signs of heartburn, no discomfort. Muscles achey and a bit sore from coughing so very hard .. it's a wonder he hasn't torn something :-/

I have always held firmly to the belief “You are what you eat.� The food we eat is directly related to our general over-all good health. The medicinal properties of foods continues to amaze me as I learn more and more about the complex chemical makeup of plant matter. The fact that the medical profession rarely turns to nature for healing powers but adheres strictly to chemical pharmacology has always been an area of great concern. I also wonder how many are in the profession as physicians for reasons other than concern and care for the greater health of the human race. In my research I have read several statements that not only shocked me but also produced some anger. The general nature of the commentaries being – if old fashion home rememdies really work why hasn't someone put them to clinical trials?I then ask myself, “Haven't they?� For centuries people where subject to little to no health care by means of educated physicians. They relied on home remedies and the care of those who understood the medicinal properties of plants. Physicians of the day often relied on herbal means as cure and treatment for the ails of the ill. Is not centuries of usage of plants by people from all global regions proof that herbal rememdies can and do indeed work as well as or better than synthetics? In my opinion the medical field (while truly being an asset and help to a great many in numerous fields of study) often times comes across as a money making machine with a cold heart. Pharmacutical companies give physicians perks for peddling their brand of 'medicines' and it continues in a cycling circle as one money machine feeds another. There is no point in wasting time discussing the high cost of health care. There is a point in helping people to see they can and should take responsibility for their own health. Do the homework, make the changes in your life and stop waiting for the miracle pill that will solve everything. I am not a fanatic that believes there is a holistic approach to everything. I am a fanatic in that I believe there is a balance between the two. Those people who take control of their own health, determine theraputic regimens that work for themselves and seek medical advice and treatment not as a last means but as a means to being and remaining healthy are the greatest successors. Educating ones self and being active in ones own health and not relying solely on a physician is the first step in living a healthier, happier and more productive life. As research is continually finding everyone's body works differently. What is normal for me may not be normal for you. Age, sex, race, seasonal change, regional orientation, climates, all these factors and many more play a huge role in the areas of 'normality' for individuals. Add to the these the extraneous factors that impact our every day lives and you have millions of people who each need to be treated differently for their health care needs. I have read so many times that stress is not a factor in the health and well being of patients who suffer with peptic ulcers. I have read it so many times I could scream. If stress plays so little role in our health why are there so many books written as guides to lowering stress effects on the body? Why do physicians recommend lifestyle changes that will help to manage stress in making us healthier? Certainly stress is a major factor in our daily health. It is the good stress vs. the bad stress that has to be defined. I myself work best under certain stressful conditions and the end result is top notch. There is something that clicks and my brain turns on. The creative juices flow. The synaps beging synapsing. I become focused and single minded and there is a force to produce that drives me to the very end. Along with the final outcome there is a sense of a job well done, pride in work produced and the good feeling of accomplished exhaustion that is rejuvinating. The bad stress we all know is the lingering kind. Demands of a high profile job. Concerns over our children. Being able to provide for a family. Maintaining a level of living that is above the poverty level. Providing opportunity for our loved ones. All these things along with paying the mortgage, getting kids through college and a million other every day concerns lend themselves to stress. Let's make a distinction here, I am not talking about keeping up appearances or competing with those around you so that you look as if there is success. These are more than stressors. These hint at other flaws and problems that need to be dealt with. Big, houses, fancy cars, people throwing money into the way they live so as those of us looking in believe their life is better than our own. Meanwhile they are buying on credit, strapped for cash, borrowing from one credit card to pay another, until they have dug a hole so deep you can vauguely see China. Those kinds of stressors are self inflicted amd I doubt those people will wake up and actually see the big picture. When the house of cards finally comes tumbling down they will find relief from their there own hell of stress. I admit I am a worry wart but I have learned over the years there are some things I can control and some things I can't control. I try to let go of the things I can't control and live well through those trials and focus my energies on the things I can change. I can't live my children's lives for them. I can't make decisions that impact their lives for them. As hard as it to watch, failure can be a good thing and we have to stand back and let them learn that. We all know failure can be healthy, it is part of what drives us to try again and again hopefully to some day become successful. All I can do is love my children well, support their interests and efforts, teach them to be moral and upstanding and educate them so that they have a means to be successful. Parents are a role model. We are the books our children read. We are the greatest factor of influence on who they are and who they will become. Compounded with a million other daily factors and if that doesn't give you a stomach ulcer .. well, you have a cast iron stomach! Peptic ulcers are serious business. When they are left untreated they can and in many cases do lead to life threatening situations. Take your health into your hands and make educated decisions to heal yourself. If you listen and pay careful attention your body will tell you what is wrong. The key is picking up on the warning signs and actively providing opportunity for healing. Your body has an amazing ability to heal itself! I can't say enough, “Educate yourself, listen to your body, be active in your health and courses of treatment.� This is the place where I have to rid myself of liability and tell you that you should seek medical advice and guidance as a part of normal health and well being. Physicians are not the bad guys. Physicians are, however, a tool in our toolbox that is to be utilized for a successful out come in treating and preventing health issues. If you have a physician who doesn't listen to you, who gawfaws over your ability to acertain and utilize your own knowledge to help yourself GET A NEW PHYSICIAN! I like to think we are the average American family. In some ways maybe we are. In some areas we may fall above or below the term 'average'. We are educated and this includs many areas of self educated. We listen to our bodies and we know when something is out of sync. I met Steve in August of 2003. We met on the internet. (Warning bells just went off in your head ... we are not average ... but in this day and age, I hate to have to bring you into the 21st century, but this is average and very common place.) From day one we became friends, confidants and realized many similarities in ourselves. We overlap a lot. We built out relationship on openness, honesty, openmindedness and a true friendship. We made a pact, a promise, to one another. We will never lie, keep secrets and will always maintain open communication – the very keys to having a healthy relationship. By November we made plans for he and I to meet the weekend before Thanksgiving. It was exciting yet frightening at the same time. Both of us previously had an internet relationship that ended without having met and in many ways without closure and a few bad terms. We both spent the better part of 3 years recovering from failed marriages that ended in divorce. We were both also under the stress of an ex-spouse who could and at times did make life difficult. I have lived in a rural farming community all of my life. I grew up on a farm, married, stayed there, purchased my childhood home, tried to keep a 14 years marriage afloat and raised my children pretty much alone – yes, even tho I was married. After my divorce, I lost my home in an estate settlement and moved to a much smaller home just a couple miles away. I had long taken control of our lives, homeschooling my oldest daughter, went to work for the local school board, took a part-time full-time job as a school bus driver and tried to live life in such a way as to be the stay at home mom my kids needed. It was a struggle day to day. I managed to raise two bright, moral, sensitive, compassionate children who like themselves. We may not have had everything we wanted but our needs were met and we had many of the extras we did want. I was able to provide and remain for the most part a stay at home mom with pretty much unlimited time to devote to my children. Steve lived a very different lifestyle. He is the son of a retired Air Force Lt. Colonel with an educational background in nuclear physics and a stay at home mom, both whom enforced the need of quality education. He had a very strong moral and ethic upbringing, as I did, where success is measured in terms of career and a stable family life. Divorce and loosing custody of his young daughter really took a tole on him emotionally and physically. As chief software architect for an up and coming government contracting firm, the high stress of his job also left itself evident in his physical being. On top of that the ravages of poor eating habits and the general lifestyle of many single dads, and heavy smoking, it is safe to say he was a prime candidate for peptic ulcers and a serious heart condition. I drove 600 miles from rural eastern Georgia to Northern Virginia not too far from Washington, D.C. After nine hours I pulled my Explorer into an empty parking space alongside his Mustang in front of his suburban townhouse. I sat outside in the dark for at least 15 minutes, collecting myself and waiting to see if he noticed my arrival – which should have been evident. I was parked in plain view from his front windows which were bare of any draperies. I stepped out of the truck and with bags in tow, climbed the steps to the front door to meet my destiny. When the door opened there stood my sweet Steve. Handsome in a black suit and remembering by fondness for pink roses, he had a long stemmed beauty for me. It wasn't until I was on my way back home, those long hours of interstate being eaten away under the truck tires, my mind began to make assessments and I became gravely concerned for his overall well being. He was thin – very thin. At 6'1� his thirty inch waist made him terribly thin. When I held him I could feel his ribs easily and there was an unnatural vibration thoughtout his whole body. His hands shook far beyond being nervous and jittery over our first meeting. His skin had a sallowness to it and the dark circles under his eyes indicated severe fatigue. His all around health could not be defined as anything but poor. As my worries sky rocketed, the nurturer in me drove me. I tried not to nag at him about eating and taking care of himself although I do know it was indeed nagging. On my visits I cooked and left his freezer full of good eats. All he had to do after work was reach into the freezer, pull out a dinner, pop it in the microwave and in minutes he had a healthy balanced meal far better for him than the fifty cent burritoes and Chinese or pizza take-out of his past. Before then, I am sure the only meals he had that resembled anything nutritious were the times he was too tired to cook and he and his daughter dined at one of the many better than fast food restaurants in the area. I was grateful for the nights he would have dinner with his parents or he dropped by and his mother fed him. He always has shown a concern for his daughter's health and dietary needs. He made sure there were always fresh fruits, vegetables, yogurts and vitamins as a part of her daily meals but for himself he was very neglectful. Often his rational was either it was cheap or it wasn't worth the time and effort to cook for one. This was foreign to me. I can see not wanting to dine alone. I can see being tired and instead of a meal snacking or having take-out occassionally but living off of cheap prepackaged foods was mind boggling. I have always cooked, growing my own herbs and vegetables, fruits available from each season on the trees right near our home, baking bread and desserts from scratch as taught to me by my mother and grandmother from early childhood. My grandmother would let my younger sister and I sit on the counter and watch her while she prepared meals. I feel the love and effort she put into every dish is what gave us both the love of cooking and providing good things for own families. We spent Christmas and New Year's in Virginia. Never in 37 years had I been away from my own family during the holidays. This not only told my mother this was a serious relationship but it also was a chance for me to take care of him. He is the kind of man who feels he is letting everyone down if he isn't taking care of them in some way but it was time for him to let someone take care of him for a change. My oldest daughter and I spent a lot of time in the kitchen, often involving the younger two girls. We cooked daily and by the time we departed there was a noticeable change in him and his freezer. His skin has lost its palor, the dark circles under his eyes were retreating and the tremor in his body was gone. He actually looked to have put on weight in those two weeks. By mid-January we had decided we couldn't live well apart. My girls and I closed up our little home in rural Georgia and hauled ourselves and what we could carry to Virginia. It is what I dubbed “The Country Mouse Goes To Town.� Amidst scrubbing, painting, rearranging and making a new home for all of us, I found cooking for 5 for was as easy as cooking for 1 or 3. I always cooked plenty -homestyle country cooking of the southern variety. I served the table with fresh vegetables, lean meats, fresh breads daily. By April Steve not only looked healthier but he felt healthier -except for the times I noticed him holding or rubbing absently at his lower chest. One thing concerned me more and more. The stress of his job left him mentally and physically far more fatigued than he let on. When I asked he was always truthful. He told me of the tightness in his chest and the pain in his lower chest. The condition had been present for the better of a year past. This was serious but he always seemed to wave it off as something he had dealt with and would deal with presently the same. Ignoring it. As my concerns grew I could see his concerns were growing. He finally took an initial albeit baby step by starting a daily stress formula vitamin. For me this was not enough and I was loading his plate at meals times with double portions. I knew when he finally pushed back from the table he would have consumed at least more than one portion of foods that were good for him. As he has never been one to indulge in sweets I knew his consumption of vegetables, fruits, whole grain breads and lean meats was giving his body tools on which to repair and build on his general well being. The one day a week that he worked at home I made sure he had a full lunch which was fresh salads, fruits, and healthy homemade deli-style sandwiches. He has never complained. He eats what I prepare and only once did not like something I served – rice and tomatoes. I then hinted around and asked if I sent something simple with him to work, would he eat it. He agreed he would try. I began sending fresh jumbo sized muffins and bagels with him to have in the late mornings with his coffee. This way I knew he had something in his stomach that was good for him instead of black coffee, water and an occassional Romein soup. I had begun in February paying much closer attention to things he told me -little to no appetite, nausea, heartburn, chest tightness, pain, fatigue, high stress, smoking, high coffee intake, gas, irregular bowel habits, previous weightloss, all signs to me of a peptic ulcer. I cut back on the meats I served and tried to get more fresh vegetables and fruits into his diet. Some evenings I prepared a vegetarian meal for supper. Anything I could think of that would help relieve the pain and discomfort he was choosing to live with and not deal with in a sound way. By April I was constantly asking him to try something over the counter – Tagamet, Pepsid, something, anything. I had also considered buying it myself and insisting that he take it. I did not. I knew that he had to take an interest for himself in helping himself for any changes to occur. The old saying you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink rings true in so many ways. Finally, the end of April brought with it his own declaration he was going to try an over the counter medication. He had conversations with his work mates about their health issues – those that could reflect his own and came to the conclussion he should try something. One Sunday evening on the way home from returning his daughter after weekend visitation he stopped in at a nearby pharmacy and looked on the shelves and made a choice for himself. That evening he took one Pepsid AC. The relief of his discomfort was dramatic. However, this is not a cure for his problem, only a reliever of the symptom. It was then in the following week he decided with my pushing to take an active role and try to heal his problem not just deal with the symptoms. What is a Peptic Ulcer? We all know from elementary school and our basic study of the human body that the contents of the stomach is acidic. Our stomach is lined with a mucous coating that protects us from the hydrochloric acid (HCl) the stomach produces to aid in the digestion of the food we eat and to prevent infection. An ulcer is a sore that is produced when the acidity of the stomach is excessive and/or the mucous lining is insufficient to protect the stomach. There are serveral determining factors in the development of a stomach ulcer. Research in the past decade has shown that as much as 80 – 90% of the peptic ulcers in the US is caused by the bacteria known as Helicobactor pylori or known in the shortened term H. pylori. The bacteria is almost always found present in people who suffered from peptic ulcers but it is also present in people who do not develop ulcers. The use of Aspirin and other non-steroidal anti-inflammatory drugs (NSAIDs) such as ibuprofen and naproxen is also a factor in those who present an ulceration of the stomach lining. Heavy smokers and excessive drinkers are also at high risk for forming ulcers. Ulcers are also found to be present in stomach cancers. What are the symptoms? There are some people who present no symptoms of a stomach ulcer at all. While others may present one or all symtoms. - Gastric ulcers present general discomfort that subsides when having eaten whereas duodenal ulcers present sharp pain upon eating. - Loss of appetite and in some rare cases increase in appetite. - Nausea - Vomiting - Belching - Bloating - Weightloss - Abdominal pain just below the chest bones. Steve had most of these. Diagnosis In a clinical setting tests are performed to identify the presence of H. pylori and to rule out stomach cancer. The test for H. pylori is done by either a breath test or a blood test. The breath test is performed by giving the patient a substance to drink. In the presence of H. pylori the substance is broken down and produces a gas that is then present in the breath. This is also the same test performed to check for the eradication of the bacteria. Having the patient drink a substance with barium and then xraying the stomach and upper intestine will produce white areas that may show an image of ulcer damage in the tissues. Another way is by gastroscopy. An endoscope, a tube containing fibre optic cable, is threaded through the mouth and into the stomach.The physician can then see the lining of the stomach and extract a sample which is then tested for the presence of H. pylori. This tissue sample is also examined under a microscope to check for the presence of cancer cells. For me, the less invasive a diagnosis can be determined the better. Introducing foreign objects into the body surely is opening the body up to outside infections. Treatment Treatment of an ulcer requires a change in your lifestyle to not only relieve discomfort but to speed up the healing of the ulcer. Recommandations are to avoid foods that irritate and cause discomfort, stop smoking, weight loss of the patient is over weight, stop taking NSAIDs and prescription or over the counter medication, depending on severity, to reduce the acid of the stomach. There are two groups of medications used to lower the acid of the stomach. H2-antagonists which include ranitidine,Zantac, and cimetidine, Tagamet. The second is proton pump inhibitors which are more powerful in reducing the production of the acid in the stomach. Typical brands are Losec and Zoton. In the presence of H. pylori the physician may prescribe one of the above and as many as two antibiotics taken for 10 – 14 days. In most cases ridding the infection of the H. pylori bacteria allows the ulcer to heal and prevents another occurance. In persistance cases with reoccurring ulcers the physician may use the barium and gastroscopy procedures to determine the cause and nature of the ulcers. Peptic ulcers can be complicated to treat. Some people have gone so long as the ulcer is bleeding and in severe cases the ulcer has perforated the stomach. This means a hole is eaten through the stomach. This is severe and requires immediate emergency care. A bleeding ulcer is evidenced in blood in the vomit, either bright red or dark colorations that look similar to coffee grounds indicating old blood. Blood in the stool is dark red in color or black and tarry. Slow bleeding ulcers further complicate healing as the body becomes anemic and enough oxygen is not passed through the cells to help promote tissue regeneration. For myself, this treatment course is less than satisfactory. Where is the active participation in helping the ulcer to close? Certainly there is more to be done that taking a couple pills for 2 weeks. It seems to me there is treatment of symptom and cause but no active plan to heal the wound other than time. Mother nature provides us will many tools in form of plant materials that gives us weapons to prevent and heal our bodies. We must take action and give our bodies the building blocks to restore itself. Good nutrition is essential. We are waiting on the arrival of the juicer and the wheatgrass, brocolli and alfalfa seeds. Any day now they should arrive and within 7 - 9 days we will be experimenting with our first of these juices. Daily Update: May 3 AM: Juice and herbals Noon: Lemon poppyseed muffin and Cabbage salad PM: Homemade Chicken soup and Cornbread, herbals The cold/sinus brought Steve home from work early. He went to bed and slept till nearly 7pm. Early to bed, around 10pm, he slept thru the night with coughing and sweating out a fever. He looks improved this morning. He is home and I am filling him to brimming. The Manuka honey from New Zealand arrived yesterday and I have added 1 tsp to his morning herbal tea. No complaints of stomach or chest discomforts.

Steve has an aweful sinus infection ... now we both do :-s May 2 AM: He had his juice and Vit. C but slept thru the mid morning and did not have his morning herbals. Noon: For lunch a salad of spinach and brocolli sprouts, tomato, a sprinkle of blue cheese, a tiny strip of chicken breast, boiled egg and viniagrette dressing .. the viniagrette gave him mild heartburn so we won't have that again, we'll stick to the yogurt dressings. PM: A veggie pizza: ham and pineapple, brocolli and spinach on a thin crust - 2 huge slices before bed he had another large slice and his evening herbals. He is still at 0 pepsid with no chest pain or tightness, no heartburn and no discomfort. Coughing has left his chest is a bit sore. By 7 pm we were at CVS loading up on alka seltzer cold and allergy, puffs with aloe, throat lozenges. I am not nearly as bad as he is. I hope I caught mine in time and can avoid the intensity he suffers.

Steve did not take the pepsid this morning. He made it thru the day with just one little bought of discomfort around midday. It quickly quieted down. He is not used to eating alot nor in the mornings so getting everything down takes much of the day. His meals for the day: 5:45am - morning herbals, vitamins 10:00am - Juice with Vit. C crystals 11:15am - Muffin 12:15pm - Broccoli sprout and spinach on mixed rye bread, DGL licorice capsule 3:30pm - 1 cup cabbage salad 4:30pm - evening herbals 5:30pm - Tofu burger, fries, herbal tea 9:00pm - Tofu burger - 8 1/2 glasses of water thru the day He says his stool is returning to normal. I don't want to jinx things but I think we are seeing vast improvement in the first week. Relieving the chest tightness and pain even makes me feel better. He has learned to live with the pain for so long, being pain free has taken some adjustment. He isn't preoccupied trying to forget or ignore the severity so at times I am sure he is more than a little disoriented.