Recently in Because I Can Category

A while back I was contacted by a marketing firm asking me to do a link exchange with a culinary chef cooking school. The deal being offered was they would get full front page billing and endorsement here and on the front page of my recipe journal and I would get an obscure little text link somewhere in the deep bowels of their links page for student.

The request offended me. I politely replied with a "No, thank you."

About two weeks later I get another request from this same gal at this marketing firm who lets it be known this is their second attempt to contact me and that I am being offered a premium chance to support a world renown school for up and coming chefs blah blah blah ...

This request not only offended me but it also pissed me off.

This is my response in the full light of day right here on the front page of my journal. I won't even bother to reply by email. I am sure there are other women who feel similar.

I pay for my webspace. I manage all aspects of my own website. The content here is original and it is mine. I am not a corporation and I am not for sale for the price of a tiny little link on a page most people will never see.

Praying on 'housewives' and doing them the 'favor' of linking to them is just a piss poor way of trying to protect your pocket book and get free advertising. You are no better than a vulture circling to see what you can get for free. You disgust me with your cheap pettiness and your high and mighty attitude. Like a give a flying rip about your cooking school client. I know how to cook. I don't need you or them to offer me crumbs.

So take note -

If you want front page billing on bigredcouch.com you better be prepared to offer front page billing in exchange.

My ad rate stands as following for corporate entities: $75 per month, 3 month minimum, payable in advance, months must run consecutively. No, I won't sign up for an advertising program. If you want space here contact me with a business offer otherwise please don't waste my time. I will rent you a tiny space in the sidebar but the main content is not for rent nor is it for sale.

And furthermore, how dare you pray on 'housewives' and 'mommy blogs' and make them feel as if it is you who would be doing them a favor. We have bills to pay, kids to feed, cloth and educate. If you have the time and money to hire a marketing agency to advertise for you then you have the time and money to pay for my services and space on my website as well that of other women with online journals.

You people out there in the advertising buisness stop acting like peeping toms. You make my skin crawl.

I'll end my rant now.

I now return you to our previously schedule discussion of chocolate cake and red wine.

When I am feeling creative and have a few minutes to actually sit in front of my laptop without a little boy snatching on my mouse, banging the keys or high-pitch squealing I browse the interweb in seacrh of things to make banners and template graphics out of. I have made a few with specific people in mind for them. If you find yourself here you don't have to take the design to save my feelings. If you don't like it say so. If you see something here that does not have a blog already named on it it is a free design. It is yours for the asking. For anyone who is a lurker and wants to have their own blog but hasn't taken the plunge OR A lurker and has introduced themselves to me OR A lurker who wants to introduce themselves to me: During the next few hours if you ask me nicely in the comments section I will try and design a template for your blog. Templates will be simple (2 column templates), not complex css or html. I do not have enough time to design anything complex. Very simple banners, 2 column templates, a few little graphic tweaks in the sidebar. Simple. O'kay? I will be updating this post and adding screenshots of new designs to it for the next 24 hours. Remember if you see something here with your name on it or made with you in mind and you don't like it you are under no obligation to take it. Just tell me you hate it. It will NOT hurt my feelings. I'll try again another day. Let's look behind curtain #1 - Maybe for someone's makeup blog? For an Aussie having a baby? I call this one Pink and Pregnant. More coming ... cooking supper ... Curtain #2 Going To The Chapel Our Wedding Day Mommy's Coffee Break No, I do not charged for these. I do ask that you keep my design credit on the template just as I made it.

People, be warned, I am pointing a finger this morning - Two weeks ago, Target: Woman pushing a shopping cart with 4 year old girl child in the seat. The child snatching and grabbing at the mother's shirt. The mother telling the child she could nurse after they finished shopping. The child demanding to nurse NOW! and the mother stopping in the isle and letting her nurse now!!! SHAME ON YOU! People!!! Do I have to tell you what is wrong with this picture?!? Four year old children should not be breastfeeding and damn well not in public. A four year old has a full set of teeth and can eat as well as you or I. That child does not need to be breastfed and damn well not in public!!! Give her a chicken leg or a sandwich for heaven's sake!! Yesterday, Walmart: Standing at the checkout with my giant bag of Pampers Swaddlers, a blouse, and two pairs of REALLY cute sandles for my kids and a few grocery items, glancing over at the register beside me- Cashier to Young Mother: "How old are your boys?" Young Mother, smiling brightly: "5 and 3." Cashier scans bags of diapers in two sizes. Five year old says to Young Mother: "I just went. Now you have to change me before we go home." Young Woman: "O'kay." THEN ... AND THEN!! ... she has the cashier void her purchases while she takes the boy into the bathroom to change his diaper. SHAME! SHAME! SHAME ON YO0U!!! WTF?!?! A five year old who is not potty trained is a clear indication that you are one lazy assed poor excuse for a mother! It is also the reason why your five year old is not in public school!! Schools do not accept children who are not potty trained. While you think you are loving your child to the maximum you are doing your child a world of hurt. I can see the mental disorders developing now!! I would so have spanked me one little ass. He would have long ago learned how to use the toilet!!! If you see yourself in either of these instances and are dually pissed off ... that is a clear indication we would not be friends IRL anyway ... and I won't be issuing an apology to sooth your ruffled feathers. Now it is your turn ... what have you seen in public that caused you to say "WTF?!?" and want to shake a parent until their teeth rattled and their eyes rolled back in their head? P.S. I saved you the gag-a-trocious personal encounter with the tiny little girl trying to talk to me while she was picking her nose and had boogars hanging from her face while she asked her Dad for a tissue and he slapped her hand down from her nose and told her he didn't have one. You know a real parent would have gotten a package of tissue and opened them and used a few on the spot and might even have gone so far as to have taken the hem of their t-shirt and wiped that child's nose!!! Oh, hell, yes, I have used my shirt to wipe my kids noses. I have licked my finger and used it to clean a dirty smudged little mouth or face!!! (Which makes Steven gag. He hates when his mother does it to the grandkids. LOL) So don't even think about saying "eww", "yuck", or "gross". A little spit and snot doesn't scare me -its just OTHER people's kid's spit and snot that make me gag ...

For the record:

a.) I am not a prude. I can be prudish at times. b.) Please use some common sense and know if you are a person who reads here regularly I am not talking about you. c.) If you read something that offends your senses and sends you into an outrage then maybe I am talking to you and you need to take a long hard look at yourself. You can only grow when you face your short comings and actively choose to make a change in yourself for the better. d.) There are some seriously sick people in this world who have no idea they are sick.

Random Posts I have Started Over The Past 6 Months but never moved from Draft to Publish: 1. Blahgers who like to tell journalists how and when to post and make up rules so that if you do not follow their rules they won't "evah come back." Goodbye. Please don't come back. I don't like threats or being made to feel as if I am your hostage. 2. Anonynmous commenters have no balls, love to dish shit but are not adult enough to pick up the spoon and eat their fair share in return. 3. Women who see nothing wrong with letting their small children witness the birth of their new siblings. No child should have to witness the spread eagled, knees around your ears, grewsome display of childbirth. It is no damn petting zoo. It can be very traumatizing. I hope all of your little boys do not grow up with Frued's complex issues with his mother. 4. Yes, all children are curious about any given subject on any given day but there is this thing called age appropriate answers by parents to children with questions about their genitals, sex and where babies come from. At the age of 3 - 10 there is a thing as TMI!!!! These children do not need to know about orgasms, masturbation, nor how good it would feel to let someone else rub their private bits. Where is this world going? Why do people think it is amusing that a child know far more than he should? 5. Online journals are the same as someone's home. If you are invited in to have a look (as journals are public it is an invite to look-see) you really should use your manners and not be mean to people, argue with other commenters or dishout random assvice. It is one thing to know the journalist and know you are welcome to speak your mind. It is another to pull a terrorists strike and leave your drivel and hate spread across someone else's door. 6. Blahgers who refer to their children with derogatory nicknames or those names that lend an air of evil. I find that the tone being used is often the more offensive. How can a parent think it is continually funny to disrespect, degrade and humilate the innocence of their child, their own living breathing flesh and blood, with their own written words? 7. You don't know if you are a good mother? You garner sympathy from readers by exposing the mess in your head? You sicken me to the very pit of my stomach. It has been my experience if you do not know you are a good mother (a mother that has done her very best to give her children a loving, moral and solid foundation to grown upon) you probably are not a good mother. I will not blow smoke up your ass to make you feel good. Get your shit together and do right by your children. It is too late to think that once they are in this world that maybe you should not have had them. Grow up and grow a pair. 8. Your husband doesn't give in to your demands all the time? You withhold sex and physical loving to get what you want. F*ck you, sister. Your husband is an adult. He is not your slave, your handmaid, your plaything or any number of other adjectives such as doormat, lapdog and punching bag. To withhold physical intimacy as a leverage to get him to do something he doesn't want to do is the most disgusting, pathetic, childish tactic known to mankind. You should so be ashamed but you won't be because people like you have no shame. 9. That goes for you men bashers as well. It is one thing to say things in a comedic light, as all of us women are prone to doing at times, but it is another to continually bash men and leave them lower than dog shit on a curb every single day. 10. Any or all of these can be directed pointedly at men. It is not just women who are screwed up. 11. When visiting a journal or blahg and finding yourself offended, repeatedly, click the X and never go back. It is just that simple. 12. I really don't care if you don't agree with my point of view. When you pay for my webspace, as I do, I do not use a free service, you can censor me and my words. 13. I do not discuss politics and religion in open forums. I find it leads to more arguements than educated discussions. Southern women are raised to know that it is rude and vulgar to discuss either, including money, in mixed company. I am a southern woman. I won't be provoked. Knowing when to keep your mouth shut is a sign of strength not weakness. 14. No I am not in a bad mood this morning. I am just cleaning house and putting to rest all of the pieces and parts labled "draft". Sometimes some things just need to be said. Let this be another 14 things about me you probably didn't know.

I have never been one who really worried about or cared what other people think of me. If you don't like me, you don't like me, move on, there is nothing here left to see. However, today I am feeling a bit of tit-for-tat just under the surface of my skin. For whatever reason(s) my (former) reader(s) have chosen to delete me from their blogroll I will be reciprocating the above action post haste. I never go where I am not wanted. And to any of those former readers who just might peek back in on occassion - this little piece of cyber space gets 3000+ hits every day from 30 countries around the world. There may not be much left by way of comments but I bet your journal, my former reader(s), doesn't get stats like that. So there. I hope it stings even just the tiniest bit. ***apologies to my dear sweet readers for the venom in this next item, it is not directed at you, it is for the asshats who leave comments with fake emails and/or send email with nasty things to say*** < que Rant> On a related note to some emails I have gotten in the recent past- I will not and refuse to apologize to others who take offense because maybe they can't cook, or they hate their SAHM status, or they spend money like water and never have cash for anything. I don't feel sorry for you if you won't help yourself. I don't give out sympathy and pats on the back and tell you everything will get better. It won't get better until you pull your head out of your ass and grow up and be an adult and parent. If you don't like your life change your damn life. No one else can do it for you. I also won't apologize because we have a tiny bit of monetary wealth. You can say mean things all you want about what we may or may not have. We have worked hard for what we have. Until I married I have held a fulltime job since I was 16 years old. I have paid my way and never asked for help. We have what we have because we save our money and tuck it away for things we plan for in the future. I don't have fancy jewelry or wear designer clothes -neither do our children. I have spent time in the past where I had no idea how I would feed my kids from day to day much less get from week to week or month to month. I know what it is to be poor and not have anything at extra. It makes me appreciate what I have even more because I know it can all disappear in an instant. BTW, I also love President Bush and my husband is a lifetime member of the NRA. < / end Rant> So, you, my former reader(s) and hate email writer(s), have a great life because I know I will.