Recently in Children Category
After a week of doctor appointments, living by the clock with medicines, dosage changes and orders for a 9 year old to do nothing more strenuous than watching movies we are now on the good side of "everything is returning to normal" -whatever normal is.
Gracie is now taking an inhaled medication twice daily to help prevent these sudden onset asthmatic events. The doctor says that even though she did not test positive in any of her tests for asthma that Gracie is presenting classic asthma for a child. It could be the big change in the weather that set her off or the fact that she is getting close to puberty age. (sob)
So what do you do when trying to keep a very active girl in a very non-active mode?
Well, we are not having Thanksgiving at home this week. We are going to my in-laws. So .... (do not shout at me)
... we started working on some homemade Christmas decorations. It takes time to make an ornament for everyone in the family (14 of us on Steve's side) (7 on mine).
Things have really picked up in pace over the weekend here. Just how big of a change? This big -
The view of my backyard from the attic window this morning. We were left on November 3, 2005 with this for a backyard.
These guys work fast. An electrician was scheduled for friday. He was a no show. The plaster guys were to come on Saturday. They went to the wrong job first. The water guy called he was on his way. Had to cancel.
About two and a half hours later they were finished. Finally the plaster guys show up at 7:22am on a sunday morning. WTH is up with that? Where I come from no one does work on Sunday morning. It never fails to surprise how you can get just about anything done in Northern Virginia on a Sunday. Even a doctor appointment. Yes! How surreal for me.
The plaster was pretty much considered dry but it is the water that actually cures it. It is all done in the same day. It took three of these beasts filled with water to fill the hole in the ground. This truck brought 5000 gallons of water. Another truck brought two loads of water at 4300 gallons a load.
It takes longer than you think to empty a truck. That is somewhere in the neighborhood of 13,600 gallons of clorinated city water works water.
MUCH longer. About 3 hours later the pool was finally filled. The girls sat out by the pool every minute possible anticipating the moment that would come when the pool was finally full of water.
They saved everything from last summer to have on hand immediately without having to look for it. These two were bound and determined to get in as soon as the water was in.
The water temperature was below 60F. Did I mention what the temperature was yesterday? Don't let all of that sunshine fool you.
Official temperature Yes, you see correctly. Tomorrow I must tell you about the shoes the plaster guys wear.
Judy over at Just Ask Judy has been posting her sheetmusic collection. She posted one of my most favorites, Let Me Call You Sweetheart, a few days ago.
Many of these old tunes I sing to my babies in place of as lullabyes. Some bring water to my eyes, some leave me smiling and some I can't remember all the words and humm the tune while I rock my babies.
I do not have a nice singing voice. I wish I did. If there was ever a talent I wanted it was singing. My singing is so bad that Gracie would cry as an infant when I sang to her. As a toddler she would put her hand over my mouth and hush the words, "You no sing, Momma," she would say.
When Colby was little we sang together and often loudly. As a baby she hated riding in her carseat and would cry and scream. As she grew older and could sit in a forward facing carseat nothing much changed except the screaming was quieted but the struggle to keep her in the car seat was monumental. I would sing and ask her to help me sing and remember the words to keep her occupied until I got to where we were going.
BTW, Colby still finds it very funny when she remembers how Gracie would cry when I sang. The Hell?!? Kids aren't supposed to remember those things! I did not give permission!
With this baby boy I don't know if he likes my singing. When I sing and humm he gets very still and wants to nurse. Either the singing is comforting or he is trying to escape in any way possible and sleep is easier than learning to get up and run away.
For whatever reason the tunes come and go. Some long forgotten until a memory sets it off. That is exactly what happened the other day.
Susie over at the Underpaid Kept Woman headquarters posted her interview with Bill Thomas, the writer of music for the Captain Kangeroo show.
She noted a discussion with Mr. Thomas of runcible spoons (a pickle fork really) which made me think of The Owl and the Pussycat ... more specifically the first line:
I do love this tune. I sang it to my baby boy all day yesterday as he was having a bad day and finally he settled down and slept for a couple hours after we rocked and sang in the late afternoon.
Did I ever tell you that lullabyes make me cry? They do. No reason that I know of. Just emotion spills out all over the place int he form of tears slipping down my cheeks. I am tearing up just thinking of it.
I purchased the Jack Johnson cd, the Curious George Soundtrack, for Steven. I love his laid back voice. On a side note that has absolutely nothing to do with this post have any of you noticed that Jack Johnson looks like the little curious monkey named George? He does! If you go to his site, click films, bonus material and watch the Upside Down video. Love it! But these don't make me cry.
Sing me a lullabye, leaving the words in the comments - won't you please? Perhaps one you sang to your babies or one you remember from your own childhood. I am in the mood for lullabyes.
Updated to add: I found a website with the midi so you can get an idea of the tune to sing The Slumber Boat to your babies. The midi has a 1998 copyright. The song itself is public domain (as is most sheet music before 1923).
The Owl and the Pussy-Cat went to sea
In a beautiful pea-green boat ...
The Slumber Boat
Baby's boat's the silver moon, Sailing in the sky, Sailing o'er the sea of sleep, While the clouds float by. Sail, baby, sail, Out upon that sea, Only don't forget to sail Back again to me.
Baby's fishing for a dream, Fishing near and far, His line a silver moonbeam is, His bait a silver star. Sail, baby, sail, Out upon that sea, Only don't forget to sail Back again to me.
When I was a kid Father's Day was observed the same as Mother's Day. As I grew older it became something more of an expected, unfeeling, obligation to fill. It had and still has no meaning to me. I have never experienced a relationship with a father or a dad. My parents divorced when I was 3 years old. I never saw him again until I stood over his casket in 1980. He was my father but only because people told me so. My mother remarried when I was 9 years old. My step-father was not a father nor a Dad. To him, as he voiced more than once, we were the damn kids of his current wife. Nothing more nothing less. And certainly NOT his kids, as he told many people in front of us. As far as father's and dad's go we were nobody's kids. Yet we were expected to observe the day as if he was the life support system upon which we were dependant. We were expected to give the sentimental cards and some foolish gift to honor his mean drunk assinine self. It was not a day I ever looked forward too. I often wondered what it was like to have a real dad. Someone who loved you and stood beside you come what may. To this day I have not and do not have a male figure in my life that was anything close to my need and expectation of a Dad. As far back as I can remember I would tell myself that when I grew up my children would have a Dad, a REAL dad. Everything would be happy and hunky-dorey -the Hallmark sentiments would mean something when given. My ex-husband is a complete ass. He never filled that role for my children. I always felt so badly, full of guilt, that I had not kept my promise to myself and my children suffered for it. I did not choose wisely as far as husbands go and therefore had failed my children in giving them a great and semi-perfect father. I am 38 and still wanting a Dad. I want someone who I can pick up the phone and call, asking to speak to Daddy, and hearing the voice on the other end who really loves me in that way that only father's can love their children. It will never happen. There is no one to blame. Some men just aren't Dad's and never will be. Steven came into my girl's life and stepped up to the plate to be a Dad. It was very easy for them both to stop seeing him as Steve and knowing him as Dad. I honestly do not think Gracie remembers anything much about her father. Steven is her Dad and that is that. I believe Colby has chosen not to remember anytime before now and Steven is her Dad. I find it very comical, yet so very deeply heart felt, when she greets him in her Italian, French, English, proper Brit and even hillbilly voice with "Papa". Each of them, Colby, Gracie and Steven, have stretched and grown into the skins of daughters and father. He has met the mark and surpassed it in their minds and hearts. I have watched the relationship grow and fill out over the past year. I stand in awe of the man who loves another's children like his own. In his heart he IS their Dad and that is that. Colby has this irritating habit of placing 'what if' situations on the table and wanting answers to her scenarios. What if something happened to Momma? Would we stay with you or go to granny? What if you and Momma separated? Would we still get to see you? I know she is seeking confirmation that the place she is now is safe. That she can give even more of her heart knowing it won't be broken. If something happens to me Steven will still be Dad and this will still be home. Nothing will change. There is no chance Steven and I will ever separate so the point she is trying to make is completely mute, but she has a need to know that no matter what the future brings Steven loves them both dearly and even without me he will still be Dad. I wonder when she will no longer need confirmation of the solidity of their relationship. On this Father's Day this is my message: Thank you, Steven for being the Dad to my girls that I always wanted for them. Thank you for stepping up to the plate and being the man that you are and reassuring my children that they and their hearts are completely safe with you. Thank you for loving them as if they are flesh of your flesh. Thank you for unknowingly easing my guilt from all the years past. Thank you for being the Father my children needed. Thank you for being the Dad they both so desperatly wanted. I love you.
Dear Colby,
Tonight at 12:25am, May 18th, you will have become 18 years old. In the eyes of the world this will make you legally an adult. You will have new choices to make, new paths to follow and dreams to catch in your net like butterflies passing on the wind. To the world you may be seen as an adult but to me you will always be my baby, my first love, my heart, my little girl, a beautiful young woman, a part of me that no one can ever take away. From the moment you were given life until the end of time and evermore you will be my child. When I am 100 and you are 80 and we have forgotten in our old age who is the mother and who is the daughter I will still be your mother and you will still be my baby.
I was 20, not much older than you, when you entered my life physically. Before that, for nine months you had been a dream, a wish, a prayer, real yet still unreal, a whisper of the future, a physical part of my body, flesh of my flesh that can never be undone.
You are the reason I decided to grow up. You are the reason a girl became a woman. Not because I gave physical birth to you. Giving birth does not make you a woman or a momma. Please always remember that. If I have taught you anything this I have and I want you to never forget it. You will not completely understand it until someday you have a child of your own.
As a woman I understood the responsibility of having a child. I wanted to be the very best mother that had ever been or ever will be. I wanted to be the woman that taught you everything. I have always prayed I was an example of a woman that you could rise up and call blessed. Not for selfish reasons or pride but because I wanted to be a Godly example for you.
I held you in my arms, tears streaming down my cheeks, within moments of your birth. The entire world was shown to me in your tiny face. I even said to the doctor, "I am holding the entire world in my hands at this moment." I fell in love with you then and I am still in love with you now.
You were the most attentive and active baby I had ever seen, that your Granny had ever seen, that your Papa had ever seen. Within 6 months you weaned yourself and demanded a cup. At 7 months you walked, all on your own, holding onto nothing. You went from sitting up to walking in a matter of days which in many ways did not surprise me at all. The day you were born you were the topic of conversation by the nurses in the nursery. You were the newborn who could lift herself with her forearms and look from side to side. You were eager to know what the world was all about. Before that first year was over you were talking in sentences and potty trained.
In this year you also suffered in a way no child ever should. You were horridly burned while being left with your father's parents for a total of two hours. I have never in my life felt so completely helpless and out of control. I stayed by your hospital bed only leaving one time in the entire two weeks to go home and pack a bag. You slept on my chest every night. I went with you daily to therapy while they scrubbed your hands that had no skin whatsoever left on them. I understood this had to be done but the entire time I wanted to kill those people who were hurting my precious baby.
Colby, God answers prayers. You are a living example of answered prayers. When you are at the end of your rope and feel you have no where to turn, please remember what I have tried so hard to teach you, God is always there. You are never alone.
God was with us the night they told us there nothing left to do for your hands. He listened to my prayers. There is no other way to explain the miracle of millions of skin cells forming on your hands overnight, in less than 6 hours from the time the doctors made evening rounds and returned early the next morning for your skin grafting surgery. God answered my prayer and you never needed that surgery, you needed nothing but God's power and He healed you. He always will. It is my prayer now that you will continue on the path we have traveled together. Lean on God for everything. Seek his will. He will never leave you.
I know you think I have been hard on you as you have grown up. I know I have been hard on you. I never demanded more from you than you could give and you have always exceeded my greatest expectations. You have grown into a responsible, moral young woman who will someday be an awesome wife and mother. The man who wins your heart will have the greatest treasure known to mankind. I hope you choose well.
We have often talked about this and I believe as I think you do, God has been preparing the perfect man for you. He has been grooming him all these years. Do not be in a hurry to get married and have children. In His perfect time the man of your dreams, the man worthy of you will come along. Please do not let him pass you by.
Time passes quickly as we grow older but I remember as if it were just yesterday everything about you. Birth and crying all night.Tea parties and baby dolls. Dress-up and lipstick. School books and pony tails. Piano lessons and school bus stops. Make-up and perfume. Sunday school and summer camp. Salvation and baptism. Homeschool and baby sisters. Good times and bad. We have been through them all together. We have so much more to do together.
I am so sorry for things in the past. I am sorry your father was not the Daddy you needed him to be. I believe divorcing him was the best thing I ever did. Some may think I was saving myself and in a way I was but in my mind I was saving you. Saving you from the bitterness and ugliness of a man who had lost his grip on life. Saving you from heartbreak and disappointment of watching a man who could never be what you needed him to be. Through this you and I came out together.
As the years of just us passed I do know how out of control you felt when Steven came into our lives. I know how difficult it was to share me, to share us, with someone unknown. I know your expectations were high where he was concerned. I believe he has surpassed them all. He may not be your biological father but he has proven himself in this one short year to be your Dad. He always will be your Dad. In the beginning I admit to being jealous and hurt when you turned from me to him when you needed a shoulder, a friend, a Dad. I quickly learned I had lost nothing and gained everything in this man who loved my child as much as I love you. He will always be your ship in the storm of life.
Please know that Steven loves you beyond anything your father ever felt for you. I know in your heart you think only of him as your Dad. I know you think he pushes too hard at times. Perhaps he does. In his heart he is doing his best to be the man you need to see as a role model. He only has the very best intentions for you in his heart. I know you know this.
I also want to thank you. Thank you for being the most perfect daughter a parent could ask for. Thank you for being the example of everything a sister should be. You have raised the bar. Gracie can only grow-up to be an incredible young woman because she has you to follow. Your footsteps are her guide.
During the times when we had nothing except each other thank you for helping me. Thank you for digging in, for using up and wearing out, without ever complaining. Thank you for trusting me. Thank you for being my daughter.
I have often played this day out in my mind. What will I say to you that will give you the confidence you need to take the step forward, away from me and into your own world that you create. This is all I have ever been able to think of: I love you. I have always loved you. I will always love you. I love who you are. I love everything about you. As long as there is breath in me I will be here for you. Never hesitate to come to me. Nothing you can ever say will change my love for you. Perhaps we may not always agree. You have your own life to create. Regardless of your choices I will always be here, waiting, watching and loving you, just as I have every moment of your life, from your very first breath.
There is a poem that I have lived as my motto.
Do you remember it?
Cleaning and Scrubbing
Can wait till tomorrow
For babies grow up
We learn to our sorrow.
Settle down cobwebs,
Dust go to sleep
I'm rocking my baby
'Cause babies don't keep.
Every word is truth. You didn't keep. You grew up. What a beautiful moment I have been blessed to witness.
My mother never understood how or why I could leave dishes in the sink and laundry in the basket, forgettting them so that I could play with you. She never understood how a bed could be left unmade and the carpet not vacuumed every single day. I hope when you have your own children you will remember those little words and you will forget about your chores for the moment and spend those minutes sharing, caring, loving your own children. Dishes can be washed and laundry can be folded after little ones go to sleep. When the time is gone you can never get it back. I hope you will never get so wrapped up in the details of living that you forget how to live your life for every moment.
So on today, this is my wish for you: May you find the path that leads you to the life you want. May you find the courage and the strength to create the world you want to live in. May you find true love and happiness in one man who deserves you. May you have children who rise up and call you blessed.
Happy Birthday, my darling girl.
Love,
Momma
April 01, 2005
Our Kids Are Not Funny
If any of you don't know today was April Fool's Day. The two youngest came downstairs bright and early and said, "We are giving you a diamond pin."
I looked up from where I was busily trying to read the blogs I didn't get to read the night before and said, "That's nice. Thank You." Knowing these two not funny little people were up to something.
A box is extended and it is open in the "ta da" fashion and inside is a dime and a pin. They laugh and laugh in that 'get it? get it?' kind of humor that only kids should try at any given time.
The rest of the day is spent trying to find a way to 'get' Dad when he comes home. It is all goofy, hokey stuff that is not even remotely funny, but you can't tell them that.
When Steven comes home he is bombarded with reasons he should put his hat on. Like I had warned he was not interested in putting on his hat ... his John Deere cap. So the 7 and 9 year olds keep trying to get him to put it on thinking in their delight of trying to pull the world's best April Fool that he won't notice the wad of stuff they have placed in his cap and believing that on this one day gravity ceases to exist and the said wad of stuff won't fall out.
I am a very bad mother. I have raised children who are not the least bit funny ... but they THINK they are. Actually, maybe I am a great mother because I have raised children who believe that on any given day ANYTHING is possible.
Yahhhh me!
Posted by Angie at 06:27 AM | Comments (0)
