Colby: August 2006 Archives

If you have your wisdom teeth removed these are some things to have your mother make for you to eat for the next couple days. Make sure you tell her thank you. Roasted Potato Soup Tomato and Basil Bisque Broccoli and Cheddar Soup Tapioca pudding Chocolate pudding Jello Fruit and Yogurt Lots of icey cold drinks After eating these good things and realizing that you have to eat some things that need to be chewed so you can exercise your jaw you can then whine and be on the verge of tears about how mean and hateful your mother is.

When I was a teenager at the ripe old age of 15 I went down to the local Armory where the Georgia State Patrol had a tiny office and took the written portion of the driver's test and got my learner's permit. During the school year I took a driver's ed class because I needed a class to fill a slot and I was really looking for a class I didn't have to do anything in that was remotely like real school work. Back in those days the gym coach(es) did the driver's ed and I can still spot one of those guys from a hundred paces. The following summer when I turned 16 I went down and took the driver's test and got my license. So all told I have been driving for the past 25 years. (That is -25 years after my birthday on Sunday.) When I drove a school bus the licensing was very similar to that of my 16 year old self. I had to drive a route, parallel park, back through cones, safely park on an incline, etc, etc. Long gone are those days. Imagine my surprise when we moved to Virginia to find that in order to get a driver's license you had to go to an accredited driver's school course AND be approved by the circuit court. It was such a pain in the ass of jumping through hoops for a person who was homeschooled we just sort of let it ride. Colby waited until she was 18 to get her learner's permit. It was far less of a hassel plus she was intimidated by the traffic up here. Driving in northern Virginia scared the beejesus out of her. This summer she called around and got herself into a driver's school. What a freakin headache that turned out to be. Several school's did not ever bother to call back. We called so many places it is unbelievable. Finally one guy called back. The guy was (and is) an arrogant, condescending asshole of gigantic proportions. He was (is) a loud mouth know it all. The minute I looked at him I told Colby I would bet just about anything he was or once was a high school gym coach who had to do driver's ed for the school as part of his contract. After three lessons, and I mean lessons from hell, lessons where he would not return a phone call for a week and a half even though he had our money. Lessons where he was supposed to pick her up and drop her off but always found a reason or a way to get someone to meet him at some place nearby. Lessons where he was rude and down right nasty. Lessons where other parents were VERY upset with his verbal bashing of their kids but what can you do when the only way to get your kid a driver's license in this state is to complete the driving school and have the certificate approved and filed in the county circuit court. Lessons that really where NOT lessons because he did not teach the kids how to drive he monitored their skills and they only got drive about 30 minutes for maybe 7 'lessons'. So anyway. Yesterday was Colby's lesson #3. He called me about 20 minutes into her driving and said "Colby is doing well. There is no need to continue on. Take her to the DMV and let her take the test. I think she will pass." He did not sign off of her license. He seemed to want to wash his hands of having to come out this far for another 4 lessons. I did not think she drove nearly well enough to get her license. But I took her to the DMV anyway. On the way there she told me he made a comment about before he opened his own driving school he was a high school gym coach who had to teach driver's ed as part of his contract. Ha! I knew it! She passed. (She didn't even have to parallel park!) I have NEVER in my life been more worried about my child than I am at this very moment. People get killed in car accidents every single day. I will have no control over what happens when she is driving alone. I do not want her to drive alone. I am scared shitless someone will hurt my child because people up here drive like insane maniacs. People cause accidents because they are overly aggressive. I am scared to death for my child to be on the highway driving alone in this mess called traffic. Anyone who lives up this way can vouch for the insanity that is Metro D.C./Northern Virginia traffic. I have never seen anything like this traffic in any other place I have ever visited -not even check-in day at OBX. I am going to need a prescription for valium to get me through this period in life where I have to let her go out on her own in car. Maybe 2 prescriptions. It is 2:17am. I am awake worrying about this right now. My head hurts. So does my chest.