Daily: May 2005 Archives

If there is anything I have learned over the past many years it is this: Never expect anything from anyone. Expect nothing and for damn sure do not hope for anything. It leads to disappointment. I know this. It is my montra. It is how I got through the few times when I have dared to hope I can expect someone to go out of their way for me. All day long as we have been out and about in the back of my mind I keep wondering is this the year finally I can expect something? (Editor's Note: When I was married before, I rarely, if ever, got gifts. I was often told I wasn't worthy or was made to feel if I got a gift it was begrudgingly given to save face. After 14 years you are predisposed to believing you are not worth the effort. I am trying very hard to break out of that because I am worthy, even if no one else ever thinks so. I know I am!!) I am not a good acceptor of gifts. It is an adult-life long conditioning of 1. never receiving real gifts except from my kids and sometimes my momma and 2. the few gifts I have received were used (someone elses trash) with no thought behind it at all or 3. given begrudgingly. It has left me hesitant about accepting gifts. It has also left me feeling awkward. So awkward that I appear ungrateful. But I am not. Having rarely received genuine gifts I really don't know how to accept them gracefully. Perhaps one day I will learn to say 'thank you' gracefully. Or at least I hope I will and the intent will be perceived as intended. Today we took the girls out and let them spend the gift cards they received from various family members back at Christmas and for their birthdays. We went to Borders and the girls chose new books to read (titles under the cut at the end of the post). We went to the shoe store and picked out sandles for spring/summer. We went to Target and the younger girls used their gift cards for panties and socks. We got them a few new summer outfits. They have outgrown just about everything from last year! We also went to Costco and picked up bread, drinks, dish detergent, dishwasher detergent and other odds and ends. Then we came home. The entire time I was wondering what would be my gift for Mother's Day. I know my girls will make me heartfelt handmade cards. They will wait eagerly for me to read them, watching my face for the emotional reaction. There will be things made in school and smuggled home in a brown paper bag. Their excitement will have them vibrating. For those gifts I am so grateful. It is those things that are treasures and will go into the basket on my nightstand. It is those things that assure me I am a good mother to my children. I wonder what my husband will give me. I am not his mother and I am not expecting anything. I have seen him and Colby whispering when they think I am out of earshot. What are they cooking up? What gift will I receive? - The Thinkpad R51? It is a high end gift that needs to wait until we sell the townhouse. - The Nikon D70 camera? It is a lesser but still high end gift that needs to wait until we sell the townhouse. -The Overlock/Serger that goes with my new sewing machine? Steven doesn't understand the need or purpose of the second machine. He probably doesn't even remember me telling him about its virtues. - A Nubian nanny goat? The barn is not ready for animals yet. - A pear or peach tree? It would be wonderful to add a tree to the orchard this year, our first spring in this house. - A gift certificate to a spa? How nice to be treated to a massage and manicure and pedicure. I haven't done anything like that for myself in at least a year. - Blueberry bushes? He knows I have been talking about putting a patch in the wide space between the backyard fencing and the fencing for the field where the chicken barn is. - Chickens? The chicken barn is not ready for chicks and baby chicks will have to live in the kitchen till the night time weather is warmer. - Jewelery? I don't have much jewelry and cannot wear gold. I do not like diamonds. I can wear silver and love the look of it against my skin but I have little opportunity to wear nice jewelry. - A gas slide-in range? We need to finalize the plans for the cabinets before we get a new stove. - Boche washer and dryer? That old machine left in this house is on its last leg and ruined 4 shirts already! Grrr!! - A lovely handwritten letter? Like the ones he once wrote to me but has never written since I moved to Virginia. -A stuffed animal? I hate stuffed animals and was shocked when I got one last year for Easter. -Urns for the side patio entrance? The entrance area of the patio really needs to be dressed up. -Table and chairs, maybe a glider and coffee table for the back deck? It would be so nice to sit out there and have breakfast or just a cup of coffee or to share the evening meal and enjoy the warmth receeding from the day. I wonder what will it be?!? The entire time I keep telling myself, "Expect nothing and hope for nothing. Disappointment is hard to hide and you look COMPLETELY ungrateful." I am not expecting material things. Really, I am not. But how nice it would be! I go out of my way to make sure everyone has lovely gifts and there is thought behind them and the receiver knows beyond a shadow of a doubt I truly was thinking of them when I made their gift or purchased one. Will this be the year someone will really think about me, know who I am and what I like or need? Will this be the first time I will receive a true gift just for me? Repeat after me, dammit!! "Expect nothing and hope for nothing. Disappointment is hard to hide and you look COMPLETELY ungrateful." Happy Mother's day to you all! I hope you have a wonderful day! And if you get something completely material, I hope you get something you really like!

I figured it's about time to tell the saga of my old red couch and this new red couch. On April 23rd I finally submitted a ticket to the hosting company for my website bigredcouch.org inquiring as to why my web stats were 'unresolved' for the past 6 months. 'Andrew' replied that the situation would be looked into ASAP. Five days later there was still nothing resolved so I opened that same ticket again. This time 'Nitin" replied that my stats were working 'fine'. He closed the ticket. I opened the ticket again and explained they were not working fine as nothing was resolved on the page I was seeing. On this same day, April 28, as many of you know, any attempt to access bigredcouch.org came back with the 'cannot find page' message. After the entire day of this I submitted yet another ticket for trouble with my site. The reply came back from 'Steve' that the DNS was updated on the server and as such it would take 24 - 72 hours for my domain name to filter through the WWW. WTF? My website was existing before the DNS update and it in no way should have to resolve AGAIN. My super geek husband, also named Steven, came to the conclusion that due to technical issues on their part the only explanation was they had opened a completely new account for my website. I responded to the reply and asked how I would be compensated for the days of down time because I was guaranteed 99.99% uptime when I contracted with them for hosting service. Every response thereafter to my questions was a copy and paste of the answer of DNS updating and domain name resolution. I was getting very angry and sent off a gritted teeth reply to them dancing around the issue and not coming clean with whatever was going on. No answer. The ticket was closed. Now mind you, there is no telephone support from the hosting company, much to my surprise! They had removed all their contact information from their website and the only way to communicate was to submit trouble tickets! Grrrrrrr! I submitted another ticket.

Posted on 01 May 2005 01:43 AM My website has been down since early thursday morning, 28 April. At which time I was told the server DNS had been updated. The stats have not updated since 28 April, which strikes me as odd. Although there has been no traffic, the stats for April 29 and 30 should read 0 but there is no stats beyond the 28th. The ftp stats have not been generated since 22 April. I would like a clear and concise answer as to when my web site will be available using the domain name URL http://www.bigredcouch.org. I would also like to know how I will be compensated for the loss of not having my web site function as it should.

This was the reply:

Sri Harsha Posted on 01 May 2005 02:21 AM HI, Your domain "bigredcouch.org" in under redemption period,So it is not availabel to renew now. We will refund the amount paid by you.

WTF? Under redemption? This means one thing!! They gladly took my money in March when it was time for renewal but they did NOT register my domain again! MutherFuckers!!! Grrrrr Now I am not one to put up with slackass jobs and by looking at the times on the trouble tickets the hosting company who is supposed to be in Washington state has obviously farmed out all their work and the people handling my account are overseas! By most of their names they probably barely speak english. After several heated replies back and forth I got this reply. I was right! Whomever is handling the IT can barely speak much less write english.

Posted on 01 May 2005 06:22 PM Dear Customer, Sorry for the trouble. Please be patiance for 2 days, your domain is under registrar hold. We are sure, your domain will come to market for sale with in 2-3 days. We will register your domain by using your renewal fee. Once again sorry for the trouble. For further assistance, please get back to us. We will be glad to assist you. Thank you, Daniel, Sales and Billing - Level II

I was fuming mad!! So I did what any other reblooded American with a credit card can do. I found another hosting company and thus BigRedCouch.com (the name I wanted in the first place) was born. It is now May 6 and bigredcouch.org still has not resolved. I have demanded a refund of my money and was clear in my communications there was no way in hell I would EVER refer anyone to their company for hosting services. My site is now hosted by Liquid Wed. They have excellent rates. They offer so much more by way of scripts to be installed on demand and the best part is they have 24/7 telephone support! Yahhh for me!! Thank you one and all dear readers. Thank you for not giving up on my site and thank you for coming over to the new site. Angie has a new red couch and each of you are welcome to have a seat, prop up your feet, watch some tv (do not hog the remote), drink some diet coke with lime or a cup of coffee or tea and we'll talk. If you are really nice I'll let you look at the screen on my laptop ;-).

When it is a trip to the Oral Surgeon!!! I broke my very farthest back molar. I don't know how I broke it. I woke up with shards of tooth in my mouth is all I can say. The doctor was a VERY nice older man. He understood my problem with dentists. He said, once told of my complete apprehesion at being in his office, that my former dentist was a blight on the occupation as a whole. Now how can a man make such a statement about another member of the dental profession? Because I told him about the time I needed some dental work while pregnant and my current dentist drilled a tooth WITHOUT any anesthesia of any kind. Now tell me something. Use some common sense. What is more stressful on a pregnant body, a dose of novacain OR drilling said pregnant ladies tooth and then having to scrape her off the ceiling of your office before sending her home? EXACTLY!! I went home in a state of shock that probably could have sent a lesser strengthed person into labor. I was shaking so badly that day I could barely walk out of that office on two legs. I almost had to crawl. I am not exaggerating! Dr. K treated me with such kindness today that I wish I could go back to him for ALL of my future dental needs. Now how many people can say they actually would go back willingly to see the dentist (read: Oral Surgeon) that left an almost nickle-sized whole in their head? As I sit here, sipping diet coke, feeling my heartbeat in the side of my head, my tongue feeling as if it has been scalded, my jaw feeling as if I took a slug from a heavy weight boxing champ, I am greatful for Dr. K. And the fact he believes in using ALOT of drugs on a persons mouth before he puts his foot on your forehead and the other other on your jaw, both hands gripping something that looks like pliers while he snatches a gigantic broken tooth out of your head.

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This is what happens when your hosting company gets on your last nerve!