Marriage: November 2007 Archives

Thank you all for your comments and emails. Most of them were very kind.

Let me make it clear that I have not been on the sidelines chanting 'put the dog down'. Neither have I been a cheerleader with every movement of a leg or toe. I have not overly encouraged him or discouraged him in any way. She is not showing real improvement and I can't play into the "Look! Her leg moved. Everything is fine now" game. It is wrong. Someone has to be a grown up here and it seems to always fall on me.

I was asked to help make a desicion and I refused to participate. She is not my dog. I also won't have it come back to haunt me that I had the ultimate sway in how things played out. I have made it very clear I will not be care taker or nursemaid to a dog. I did NOT take wedding vows "in sickness and in health" with any dog included as part of my commiment to my marriage.

The dog has had her steroid shots. She has been given oral steroids as prescribed. She has been crated since I brought her home from the vet last week. She has shown a tiny bit of improvement. She can stand on her back legs about one minute then she lists to the side and goes down. Which isn't really improvement at all. She can't walk on her own. She is sleeping far more than she ever slept before. She is taken out frequently to do her business but she still has accidents. Weither she can control that completely or not I am not sure.

Steve has taken this very hard. I have been as supportive as I can be but I won't tell him everything will be okay when obviously it is not. I won't be the one to blow smoke up his ass and make him feel better just to let this dog continue to linger in this state and myself being forced to be the caregiver every day. It is not fair to anyone involved. Especially not the dog.

He has reluctantly called the vet, who discussed having treated the dog with him, and the time has come to realize she will not recover. He made an appointment to have her put to sleep. I feel like when he even discusses the situation he is pointing invisible fingers at me and blaming me for something. When asked he won't discuss it. So even by not saying anything and not weighing-in to help make a choice I feel like I am going to carry the lion's share of the burden forever in having this dog put down. Thirty years from now I will be one who ultimately made him put his dog down. I can already feel it in the air. It is an unspoken communication hovering there.

I am very tired of having to be the strong one all of the time.