Momentous Events: July 2004 Archives

Steven and I were married today in a very quiet family ceremony in Manassas, Virginia. He wore a black suit, white shirt and burgandy tie. I wore a black silk 2 piece suit with white collar and cuffs. The children were dressed in beautiful white dresses. We stood before the clerk of court and recited the vows, looking into one another's eyes. Our parents stood near, his mother weeping, my mother smiling, his brother and family off to the side witnessing our commitment to one another. I was a beautiful day to lookers on ... those of us behind the scenes saw things in different light. Throughout the ceremony I just knew Steven was going to pass out! His blue eyes were dialated to magnificent proportion. His skin color was deathly white. His voice did not falter but he was shaking as I held his hands. I waited with baited breath and wondered at which point he was going to hit the floor! I was having a little trouble paying attention to the words spoke by the officiate. My mind was swirling with events from the past, the present and looking to the future. When it was my turn to recire my vows I could hear the shake in my own voice. I stared into his eyes and kept thinking "Don't you dare pass out", to MYSELF!!! which I knew would not happen because the new shoes I had on were killing my feet! After the ceremony we returned to our home, had cake and champange, then went out to dinner at one of our favorite places Peking Gourmet Inn located in Falls Church. We had the duck. The duck alone is worth getting married for! Afterward, we went home, children in tow and went to sleep. We will leave next weekend to head out to the Outer Banks in North Carolina. I guess when you marry for the second time no one cares whether or not you have any private time. Oh well, so goes life :-s All along we had talked about and planned to be married in Vegas. When it came down to the nitty gritty, Steven backed out and I had to compromise to keep people from being upset. No one seems to know or give a care as to how upset I am or will be for a VERY long time. On the one day that is supposed to be mine, nothing was as it had been planned. I wanted the 3 days at the Belagio, Wayne Newton, and the Graceland Chapel. Instead I got a couthouse in Manassas, Va., and my mother across the hall in one of the kids bedrooms. According to other opinions I have no reason to feel let down nor pushed aside. When I reconciled to the fact I was indeed not going to Vegas, I planned the wedding in 2 days, bought all the clothes, made all the arrangements and hand wrote the announcements. I still long for my dreams of my wedding announcements being mailed from Memphis, Tn, while we toured Graceland. One thing that did go right, I married a wonderful man who truly loves me as no one ever has.

Steven officially proposed today. I never saw it coming. I didn't expect it. I always wondered exactly how it would unfold. It was nothing like either of us had envision. lol We were sitting at the table, I admit I was upset about sa conversation we had the night before just before sleeping. I did not sleep at all last night. We were in the kitchen, I had been cleaning and had several bags of trash I needed to take out. He gets up from his chair and moves the bags, I am thinking he is going to take it out to the can for me, instead ... He kneels before, takes my hand, looks into my eyes and says ... "In the middle of the trash and with the kids downstairs, will you marry me?" He took my breath away! "Yes!" "Yes!" I burst into tears and words would not come for a long time. We have waited all day, enjoying the moment ourselves, painted the 1/2 bath, whispered amongst ourselves before telling Colby. She has always known I wanted to go to Vegas to do it but she really went off the deep end crying and showing her butt in a tantrum about how unfair it is that none of them will be there to see the moment. Talking before sleep, and tons of guilt heaped on subconsciously by Steve, I think I will have to change plans and please everyone but myself. I am sick of people being greedy and expecting things their way and having to give in every time to what someone else wants. I am going to sleep on it but I know I will have to give in and put someone else's wants before my own. Angie takes a back seat on what should be the happiest day to date. I think I have a bad attitude. Goodnight.