Momentous Events: June 2005 Archives

Before Steven and I met face to face we talked on the phone every morning, every night, more and more and more. Eventually we were talking several times a day and hours and hours on the weekend. It was nothing for him to call at 7pm and we would talk till midnight or later. In that time you get to know a person and to trust their words according to the tone of their voice. I knew up front he never intended to marry again or to have other children. I chided him often. I would tell him how much of a disservice he did to himself banning everyone from his life based on the shitty experience with his ex-wife. I told him one day a woman would come along and be worthy of his heart. He shouldn't deny himself real happiness. Eventually he grudgingly agreed maybe someone out there was worthy of his trust and devotion. About a month later he said to me, "One day I am going to ask you to marry me." I believed him. We talked about children. He once told me that he never wanted another child. For several reasons. One children are used as weapons by some women. Two he didn't think he could love another child like his first. Three he didn't think J. would grow accustomed to impact of another child, so he didn't plan on having another. I could fully understand the first. I told him the second was a crock. Love grows it doesn't take away. The third I got angry with him. I told him if he ever met a nice woman that he could he should tell her up front so she can walk away if she so chooses. I fussed about how he was letting a child make decisions for his future and the future of the woman who did come into his life. About a week later he told me he had given real thought to the issue and concluded once again I was right. He had never looked at it that way before and it was in no way fare to the woman who might win his heart. Eventually he did ask me to marry him. Then he bought us a farm and moved us back to the country where I belong. He also gave me a great cool car the day after Mother's Day. We have lived happily every after. Until a few weeks ago. I have been very sick. Tired beyond tired. Snotty nose, slight cough. As my symptoms worsened and I became sicker each day I decided I should make an appointment to see a doctor. I knew without a doubt what the diagnosis would be. Steven would not believe it until a PhD confirmed it. I have been on the couch for the past two weeks. Sicker than sick. He has been so worried. I went to the doctor today. I married a geek I met on the net. And then we bought a farm. And then he gave me a cool car. And then he gave me a baby. Shhhhhhhh ... I am not supposed to tell anyone until the family knows but I can't keep quiet any longer. It is our secret. O'kay?