Recently in Pregnancy Category
Being ill last week and answering your email and comments has left me with the cream of the crop of commentary. Thank you all!
Today is the first day that I feel like I am back and got my stuff together. Today is also the day I climb back on the wagon with my dieting. You must know through all of this I have only been able to eat and keep down white foods, milk, bread, yogurt, potatoes, rice. It has been nice while it lasted but I know I have gained back a pound or two. :-( Today I have to start taking it off again. Back to salads and lean meats. You have no idea how unappealing salad has been the last week.
So anyway -
One of the subjects of the comments and emails has been a comment Steve made just this past week.
When discussing how no one is ever as sick or as tired as he is when he is sick I made a comment about my body physically supporting the process of making our baby and the trials I suffered while carrying him for nine months. The whole flesh of my flesh conversation.
Now if you are a female and have experienced pregnancy and childbirth you have a perfect understanding of -
morning sickness, phantom aches and pains, headaches, killer heartburn, pressure on your bladder, kicks and punches to your ribs and organs, unbelivable pressure on the floor of your pelvis, the urgency to urinate frequently, a sneeze or cough that causes the bladder to leak, heemoroids, constipation, swollen feet, face and hands, weight gain/loss, hair falling out, dark spots on your skin (the mask of childbirth), not to mention the poking and proding by doctors, nurses, lab techs, the whole lack of descency and the degrading need to have half a dozen people looking and proding your nether regions, the actual force of labor, the pain, oh, the pain, the needles, the broken blood vessels, the passing of a seven to eight body through an opening at best 10 cm, the swollen tenderness of your body afterward, the abdmminal cramps, the 4 to 6 weeks of birthing aftermath, sore, blistered nipples from the first week of breastfeeding, -Do I need to go on with the basics? I think you all know what I am talking about and can add a dozen or more complaints to the list of the physical suffering to bring a bundle of blessed joy into this world. We women know child birth. We have looked it in the face and for the most part come out the victors. Our beautiful, wonderful babies are our trophies. All this leading to this - He said to me - "I was there and went through all of it with you. I suffered the same as you did every day." "Oh, you did? You were so sick every day you couldn't hold your head up? You went through the aches and pains and the hives and the constant pressure on your bladder -?" "I was right there, I did it all." WTF???!!?? "You did it all? You physically carried this baby and supported his life with your own? You have also spent the last year of his life supporting his body with your own by breastfeeding him every two hours for months and months?" "I have done it all, except the breastfeeding." A side note here that while Steven was sick and the only time he kept anything on his stomach was when he breastfed, Steve questioned my ability to care for the baby, to sustain his diet, he attacked my ability on so many levels by insinuating that breastfeeding was not enough to sustain the baby. WTF have I been doing his entire life? Secretly feeding him protein shakes in a bottle and not actually breastfeeding him? My boobs have supported that baby from the day he was born! "And you laughed at me while I suffered!" "No, I did not, " a shit eating grin on his face, head down trying to hide it. "You laughed at me when Steven kicked me so hard my bladder leaked and I wet my clothes. You laughed at me on many occassions!" "I never laughed at you," while he tried his best to hide and stiffle his laughter, making a quick exit to bring in firewood and end the conversation. All the while he was grinning and chuckling. Why is it a man thinks he knows every thing about birthing babies and he has NEVER had one labor pain yet he refuses to give a woman her due when it comes to earning her stripes of motherhood. Standing in a labor room watching your child come forth is NOT the same experience as the sheer physical will to get him there. Watching a baby being born is not standing at the cusp of life and death. Watching a baby being born is no way compensates for the physical act of labor. Steve's constant insistance that he knows all and has experienced all when it comes to the nine months and the birthing of a baby makes me take back a tiny bit of respect I have for him. He knows nothing, you can't even begin to explain it to him, yet he insists he knows it all and has experienced it all. He also doesn't realize (or refuses, not sure which) that he makes himself look like the biggest ass mankind has ever created when he makes those comments. He also makes me very angry at him deep down on some primal level. The one thing we women have that men don't have is the ability to bring life into this world. Men are physically incapable of bearing a child the way we women have been blessed to do so. Why must men always try to take the very last shred of what makes us a woman away from us? I am not male bashing here. Nor am I trying to make Steve look like an ass. He already did that by his comments. I am just blowing off steam. It bites my ass that he and many other men think they know so much when they don't know sh!t about certain things other than the mechanics of it all. Please tell me if your husband/significangt other has said equally as assinine remarks concerning childbirth.
We arrived at the hospital at just after 7am Tuesday morning. The air was crisp and clear. I was more quiet than usual as I ran the scenerio of what was to happen through my head. I admit to being anxious, even a bit nervous.
The clinical side of things was looming ahead of me. I sat quiet in the car as Steven drove. I tried not to think about the things to come instead focusing on the time when it is all said and done. But it was hard to not remember other times when I was in similar circumstance. I began to wonder if I was ready for the feeling of being inthe path of a moving freight train and the wreck that is your body left in its wake. I closed my eyes and tried to picture a baby's face, the sound of a first cry, the joy that would well up in a fount of happiness.
By the time we got to the hospital I had a grip on myself. I took a deep refreshing breath of the cold crisp air, held Steven's hand as we crossed the parking lot and went into the hospital and for the last time tried to burn the moment into my memory. The weight of my baby inside of me, the pressure against the floor of my pelvis, even the discomfort of walking with so much resting against my bladder. Even now as I write this, mere hours after his birth, I have trouble remembering the true sensation that had weighed me down and made me so very tired in the weeks past.
Up the elevator we went to the magical third floor. (Why is it the 3rd floor of every hospital is the magical place where heaven meets earth?) We followed the posted signs that pointed red arrows toward labor and delivery. We checked on and were shown to the room that would be ours until after the delivery -#3069.
This is how the day went:
7:30 - Get undressed, put on hospital gown, climb onto the hospital bed. I HATE the open flap at the back were your butt shines brightly for all to see. I think there would be a market in manufacturing something much more attractive so you can opt out of wearing their gowns.
My nurses assigned to me were Debbie and Michelle. Debbie was in her late 40's, very thin and tall and blonde. She was sweet and talkative and very friendly. She made me so at ease I could easily have put her in my pocket and brought her home with me. I really need to send her a note to thank her for all she did. She seemed to be the kind of person you want to have for a forever and ever friend. Just the sweetest woman, I don't know how else to describe her. She was training Michelle for L&D. Michelle was normally an ER nurse and learing all the ins and outs of charting and managing L&D patients was new for her. She was in her mid 30's and was also just the sweetest woman you could want to have by your bedside but she needed more practice with the sticking people with needles.
8:00 - Have IV started. This hurt like hell!! The nurse was not a good stick, although she tried to be gentle. The damn little catheter they thread into the back of your hand agrivated and pained me all day long. When she put it in and taped it down it pulled and pinched. If I bent my wrist it jabbed and hurt enough to make me jump. I tried very hard not to move that hand more than need be.
Next I had to answer a bajillion questions which I had already answered for the doctor but the office had not sent over my records as of yet and I had to answer them again. Things like how many pregnancies have you had, how many were live births, how many miscarriages, birth date, allergies, etc etc etc. Which got completely confusing to them when I explained that I had been pregnant 6 times, twice as a surrogate and one was twins that ended as a single because one reabsorbed and another was triplets and I could not carry them and they had to add it all up and figure out all the numbers and it took them 30 minutes to sort out the para and the gravida.
And then we waited some more for my doctor to make an appearance.
8:30 - My doctor arrived and got right down to the business of checking me. I have never felt more like cattle in all of my life. Just cut and dried, whip the covers back and insert a hand. I felt so violated and embarressed. After his exam the result was no change from the exam on friday morning: 2 cm dilated with no thinning and -3 efacing. He did not try to break my water and told me he would come back later in the day and break it if it didn't break on its own. An internal monitor was placed to monitor the baby and another to monitor the strength of the contractions. He gave the order to start the pitocin which is what the nurses had been waiting for and he gave the order they could have the epidural inserted early because of my past history of delivering fast.
9:00 - The pitocin was finally started. Once the drip begins it takes at least an hour for the contractions to begin so I pretty much spent the morning watching the clock move from 9am to 10am so I could actually begin to feeling something happening. It sounds idiotic but I really wanted to feel the contractions so that I could judge myself at what was happening. I didn't want the epidural too early because I didn't want to be numb and unable to judge the strength of the contractions and when the baby moved. The internal monitor came out on its own and the nurses had to go back to the external ones that wrap around your pregnant belly.
10:00 - The baby did not like the way I was positioned on my back sort of sitting up. I had to turn on my left side and he didn't like that either. So after I get myself comfortable and positioned, struggling with wires and tubes and IV's the anethesiologist comes in and I have to move all around and undo everything we did.
The epidural is not my favorite thing. When you are not in full hard on labor putting that thing in hurts like hell! I know I made several gutteral noises as the needle went in. I even held my breath at one point as I sat on the side of the bed curled over my very pregnant belly. I promise you an epidural hurts MUCH less when you are in the throws of a full contraction. Sweet lord I thought it would never end!
10:30 - The contractions have started. The epidural is in effect. I am numb from my hips just down to my knees. I asked please not to be given so much that my feet and legs go numb. I hate the feeling of not being able to even move a toe at my own will. I was repositioned to my right side and the baby was very happy with me this way. The room was quiet and dim after they all left to make other rounds. Steven sat with me and held my hand. We both settled down and tried to catnap.
The anesthetician was a woman just a little younger than us. She was pregnant and due to deliver in 6 weeks. I asked her if knowing how the epidural was put in was going to have the epidural or go natural. She made the funniest noise and assured me she was NOT having her baby natural. She was taking all the pain meds they gave. We wished her well with her delivery and congratulations on her baby. She was a sweet woman but I cannot remember her name.
11:00 - I really needed to go to the bathroom. The lactated ringers had been pumped into me since 7:30 and I was to the point I REALLY needed to go. Then they dropped the damn bomb in me. I was really upset, not happy and suddenly didn't have to go any more. They don't let you use a bed pan nor do they help you to the bathroom they make you take a catheter!! WTF?!?!?! Where in the honey-baked hell did this requirement come from? I would have nixed the epidural and went natural had I known before hand!!
I sent Steven to have some lunch. There was no need for him to have to witness the last shredds of my dignity being stripped away. to tell yo the truth I think he was glad to get out of there and ot have to witness it. How is that for a man with a biology degree? LOL
11:10 - The doctor came back to check me again. At first he asked me, "Why are you still pregnant?" He then said I was progressing and was at 4cm. He then broke my water. I was glad to hear the fluid was clear but I wasn't happy to be reclined and partially sitting/laying in it. There really has to be a better way to do some of this stuff while NOT in a hospital bed.
An internal monitor was placed again and luckily this one stayed in place. They inserted the catheter and promised when it was time to deliver it would be removed.
11:30 - Clean and dry once more, Steven returned from lunch and we settled down again to a dim quiet room. Then we turned on the TV and flicked throgh the channels. Ha! The Dukes of Hazzard was on and that's what we watched for a half and hour. Then we catnapped until the nurses came back in to check me over once more.
12:30 - I was at 5cm with no other changes. Each time they came in they had increased the pitocin and this time they raised it to 17. Each time I questioned the dosage and each time they said they had to increase it slowly. More slowly than I was happy with.
1:30 - No change whatsoever.
2:30 - No changes in my progress. Which was frustrating because due to my past I had no idea I would still be pregnant by this time. I had fully expected everything to be over and done with by lunch time. They did not turn up the pitocin. It was still at 17. They seemed to be concerned that turning it up would cause stress on the baby.
The epidural was no longer taking the edge off the contractions. I was encouraged to use the self medicating button to add extra pain med every 15 minutes until I began to ease off. I pushed the button, over and over, but it was in now way diminishing the level of pain. When asked on a scale of 1 - 10 to give the pain a number I said 7. I was advised to keep pushing the button until it eased to a more tolerable level. I did push the button and it seemed forever for it to eventually begin to ease off.
3:30 - The nurses changed shift. Debbie and Michelle left for the day and were replaced by Sarah Noel and Ellon, along with a student nurse who was tagging along to learn as much as possible. The only reason I knew the shift had changed is because by this time I was in agony and nothing was helping the pain. NOTHING. Not breathing. Not trying to focus on the internal place where yur mind can escape some of the pain. AND NOT PUSHING THAT DAMN BUTTON. Sweet jesus there was some full on hard contracting going on and it felt like my pelvic floor was being torn wide open!
I have never experienced the labor many woman describe as the full uterine contractions that start at the top and work their way to the bottom. All of the pain and sensation from my contractions is always concentrated in the floor of my pelvis. Sweet mother of god it is a drawing sensation as if you are being pried wide open from the inside out -which if you think about it you actually are!
At the time when the new nurses came in I immediately decided that I did not like them at all. They were much younger than I, late 20's at the most. Seemingly impatient and not really listening to what they were being told. Finally they called someone in some place and had them come give me an injection of pain med in the epidural line hanging out of my back.
She gave me too much. I was completely frustrated to the point of near tears. The needle was pulling in my back. I didn't have the strength to pull myself into a comfortable position. I felt like I was being tossed out of the bed and would eventually slide off the end. I was in misery, my own private hell and it made me want to cry.
3:45 - Colby called. Gracie had not come home yet. She had not seen the school bus nor had she seen Gracie. Instantly my heart fell out of my chest. Steven became a nervous wreck. I took a deep breath and instructed him to call the bus shop and ask about the bus. Have them radio and find out if Gracie had got off at her stop. To find out if the bus had been by our house at all. Etc. He went downstairs and outside to have a nerve calming smoke and to make the calls. I sat in the hospital bed numb to the point I couldn't feel a toe. I couldn't even move a toe. Everything from my hips down was dead.
4:00 - Steven was back. Gracie was found. There had been a problem with the bus and a driver was needed and the bus had only then left the school. At this point I just had a complete melt down. I burst into tears and cried and cried. I know it nearly caused Steven to have a mild nervous breakdown but I was inconsolable. I had to just cry it out. I pulled a pillow over my face and sat there and cried until I had sniffles and a massive snotty nose.
4:30 - I was pulling myself together and the doctor came in. I had to explain the situation to him. I mean, he walks in and his patient is in tears and the blood pressure is up and the heart rate is wonky - what would you think? So I got myself settled down, he checked me and there was no change. 5cm and waiting. As he left he said, "Try to have this baby before dinner time, would you?"
4:45 - The nurses had come in to do their routine checks and to look at the monitor strips. I really felt a huge change that I can't describe other than to say it felt like a squiggle in my pelvis. The one nurse didn't want to check me. The training nurse did. I asked them to check me. In the end, Sarah N. (btw, she is or was at the time pregnant with her first baby) told the other nurse to check to see if the doctor was still outside at the nurses station and if so have him come in and check me. He was out there and he did come right in to check me.
He snapped on the gloves and did a quick check. I was at 10cm and was ready to have a baby.
Everything was a flurry of activity. Steven had to get the cameras out. The doctor put on his blue protective hospital gown thingy over his nice dress shirt and trousers. He snapped on a new set of gloves and the nurses scurried around getting things in order.
4:55 - The first set of three pushes. Inhale deep, wait for the contraction to build, grip the hand grips, chin to the chest and puuuuushhhhh, while the stupid skinny pregnant nurse counts to 10 and tells you to keep going, deep breath in and puuushhhhh until you gasp for another breath and push again. Then the contraction is over and you rest a minute until the next one comes.
5:00 The second set of three pushes. I see the clock, feel the contraction building, tell the doctor before the contraction registers on their monitor, and push. The doctor kept telling me, "I don't know what you are doing but whatever it is push just like that again. Push, push, push." By the deep inhale and the third push I had a sudden sensation of having dived into a chlorinated pool and my nose burning as if water had been forced into my nostrils.
5:05 - The third set of three pushes. At this point I didn't know where I would get the stregnth from to push any harder. The doctor was telling me that the top of the babies head was exposed and I needed to push him on out. Seriously I was doubting my ability to push again when that contraction was over. My nose and face was stinging, I was completly out of breath as if I had just ran up several flights of stairs. In my mind I was afraid, I didn'tg know where the strength was going to come from as the next contraction began to build.
5:10 - The contraction built. The doctor told me to grip the backs of my legs and push. I knew this would not help me at all. He took my foot and wedged it against his ribs, I gripped the hang grips on the side of the bed in a death grip. I inhaled, praying for God to give me strength and to help me one more time. I pushed with everything in me. Took a deep breath and pushed as the doctor seemingly screamed at me to push harder. Then he told me to ease up, small push as his shoulders where delivered and huge relief as his warm body seemingly slipped right out.
5:13 - Time was called on my child's birth. He was crying. I was crying. Steven looked like he was crying. I was trying to catch my breath. I asked at least twice, "Is it a boy?" before anyone answered me. Steven said, "Yes, its a boy." The doctor said, "It is definitley a boy! It is a big boy!"
I remember him saying many times about the big baby. He wasn't a fat baby, just rock solid and weighing more than he looked like he should.
The doctor laid the baby across my chest and my hand instantly saught his warm skin. He was beautiful! The moment he was born his face looked so much like Gracie the minute she was born. I said to Steven, "He looks like Gracie when she was born." Steven kept saying, "I love you" and kissing me. The doctor had Steven cut the cord and I remember Steven saying something about how difficult it was to saw through the fiber of the cord.
Then they took him to clean him up and get him under the heating lights. Steven took photos of the baby and I questioned the doctor.
While he delivered the placenta and checked it I asked if I had tore or if he had to cut me. He said he did not cut me but he culdn't tell if I had torn until he finished cleaning me up.
The babies weight and length was called by the nurses, 9lbs 11 oz, 22 inches.
The doctor said I had one small tear that required one stitch and he put that in quckly. That surprised me more than anything.
With every birth my babies where born quickly and there weas no time for me to stretch to accommodate their entrance into the world. With the help of my doctor who helped me stretch I had a very easy birth experince this time. In the past I had been cut or torn and required several sets of sutures inside and out but not this time. I had a long, rather thin baby who was solid as a brick, weighing more than any baby previous and I had the least maternal injury. I can only thank the doctor for knowing what he was doing and helping me to transition and stretch with this babies arrival.
5:30 - Steven began calling my mother and his parents. Ha! He had to leave a message! (Oh and his mother lost her bet that the baby would not come until after 7pm.)
5:45 - The baby was given to me to breastfeed.
6:00 - The nurses insisted I needed to eat but we couldn't get through to have anything sent up so I sent Steven to go home and pick up Colby and Grace and bring us something back to eat. The nurse helped me up and to the bathroom where I was allowed to wash myself and dress in a clean gown and under clothes and thank heavens for better sanitary products than I had ever had in the past.
6:45 - The baby was still nursing. The nurse was a bit impatient, saying I needed to rest and he had fed long enough.
7:00 - I was transfered to my room (3101) in the maternity ward. The baby was taken to the nursery to be bathed and all the checks completed.
As I sat in my bed in the semi-dark room, the lights from the city outside my window, the TV droning on for just the noise, I made my trips to the bathroom with a bit of fright that somehow it would hurt to go (which it doesn't you just assume it will). I looked at my image in the mirror, swollen from so much liquid pumped into me, pale from the entire experience of childbirth. On a closer look I saw tiny little red lines on my face and my eyes appear bloodshot. It seems I pushed so hard and with so much force that I burst many many many tiny little capillaries under the skin in my face and eyes. Under my eyes and across my forehead was the worst. You won't see any photos of me because I look likie death. Tiny red lines under the skin left me looking like a Rand-McNally roadmap of spiderwebs.
8:15 - Steven returned with my girls and something for us to eat. Gracie was jst beside herself waiting to see the baby. I sent them down to the nursery to look through the window. They came back saying they didn't see our baby. I sent them back and they came back to say they had overlooked him.
8:30 - The nurses brought the baby in and the girls took turns holding him. His Daddy held him and read Goodnight, Moon.
9:15 - Steven left with the girls and I was left alone with the beautful creature I had waited all my life to meet.
(To be continued)
Previous Motherhood links:
A Mother at 20
A Surrogate Mother at 28
A Mother at 31
In progress - A StepMother at 37
p.s. This is not proofread or spell checked - I'll do it later- as well as probably add a few more details. I just figured I had made you wait long enough and would post it now otherwise if I wait to proofread and spellcheck it might not get posted until tomorrow.
This baby was given final notice Friday to vacate the premises in a timely and orderly manner. Having chosen to ignore the court ordered evacuation he is being evicted this morning. I am scheduled for a 7:30am admittance to Labor and Deliver at the hospital almost an hour away.
I am bringing my laptop. If you don't hear from me you know I can't get a connection.
I did manage to shave my legs all the way up to the top. I can't have this baby thinking his momma is from a tribe of sasquatch.
I am excited and anxious and a little nervous. Excited to see my baby, to look at his face and inhale the perfection of his scent. I am anxious and nervous because I know what to expect, reality is on my heels, I know the trainwreck feeling that will come when it is all over, but at the same time the exhileration that leaves you so very tired yet you can't really rest until you get home.
I am sitting here waiting for coffee to finish because once I get to the hospital they are not going to let me have anything. I have been up since 3am, sort of cat napping until I finally gave up and crawled out of bed. I was tossing and turning and couldn't turn my mind off. I didn't want to wake Steven up, he needs to sleep while he can.
Today we turn the page and start a new chapter in this life we are building for ourselves and our children.
So, my friends, a toast ... to motherhood ...
*clink, clink*
Contractions ... stop and start .... start and stop ... blah blah blah blah blah ... 20 minutes apart ... 15 minutes apart ... 10 minutes apart ... stop ...
Arrrrgghhhh!! Enough already!!
This baby and my body has 23 hours to do this on its own (which is what I am wishing for) or we go in the morning to be induced (which is fine too but I wanted to go on my own first because it happens faster that way for me).
Things to know:
This is the 4th time I am doing this.
This is the last time I am doing this.
I have gone 100% natural and thought I would die from the blinding pain.
I have done the painfree way and was quite blissfull.
I have been induced.
I have been a surrogate mother as well.
I was 20 the first time.
I am 6 months shy of 40 this last time.
The shortest time in labor - 2hours and 15 minutes.
The longest time in labor - 4 hours.
I have given birth to both sexes.
For me, boy pregnancies have been the hardest.
I know the pain and sorrow of miscarriage, my own and surrogate.
None of this is new to me.
It is the waiting and the waiting and the hurry up and waiting that makes me insane.
Q and A:
For those of you who have had pregnancies of both boys and girls did you find there was a distinct difference in the pregnancy of a boy and a girl?
What is the shortest and longest time you were in labor?
Can you remember the sound of that first cry? (I can. VERY distinctly.)
I dreamed last night we had a boy but the nurses kept bringing us a girl from the nursery. I am now paranoid and insist that the black sharpie in my purse be used to mark the bottom of the baby's foot before it ever leaves my sight. Am I completely insane now?
This morning SexKitten MommaK stopped by for a visit on the BigRedCouch. She is such a lovely woman -and so very pretty. (Pssst ... now you know what the "K" in MommaK stands for.) She is coming back next saturday after the baby is here. She brought cake and truffles and we drank coffee and got to visit. The apple crisp is delicious! I am going to have the pound cake later this afternoon. Oh, and the truffles! Chocolate heaven! It was the nicest morning. I hope she had as nice a visit. I could just put her in a jar and keep her! But I had to let her go so she could pick up her daughter and get back home to her own lovely husband and family. If she ever comes up missing, well, I probably have her in a jar on my shelf. After our wonderful visit Steven and I went to the grocery store and the pharmacy. We picked up things for the kids to have while I am in the hospital. Like chocolate milk and pudding mix and bacon. But not all at the same time. I went to the pharmacy to cash in on the buy-one-get-one-free feminine product sale. I mean, I am going to need them sometimes between now and coming home after Tuesday. Having only two arms and hands I made Steven carry two packages to the check out. He is the only man I know who doesn't cringe at the thought of being seen with feminine hygeine products. Which makes him a rockstar husband! Plus he is cheap like me and it makes no sense to pay more for the same products later. As we were nearing home Steven's parents called and asked if they could drop in this afternoon. Of course you can! You don't have to ask. Guess what they brought ... Go ahead -guess! They brought ... Wait, let me explain a little bit ... When we told Steven's parents we were having a baby his father asked if we would like for him to make a cradle. Of course we said, "Yes!" I knew what type of cradle I wanted but I had to find a photo. After hours of searching I finally found the photo of a cradle I had seen ages ago and fell in love with. It is an 18th century cradle in a english museum home.
From the above photo his father made this cradle in his basement.
It's "Goodnight Moon" bunny and bedding.
The wood is cherry.
The finish is medium cherry stain.
The finish is better than most commercially made furniture. It is satiny smooth to the touch. Like butter.
How blessed is this baby? This is an heirloom creation. One of a kind. Made by the hands of his grandfather. I cried. *sniff* Maybe now that his bed is ready he will come on out so he can see it himself ...
How blessed is this baby? This is an heirloom creation. One of a kind. Made by the hands of his grandfather. I cried. *sniff* Maybe now that his bed is ready he will come on out so he can see it himself ...
Might I say that when you people put your heads together you do a fine job of sending contracty thoughts. Is it possible to synchronize your super powers and send them in a steady and constant rythm? Please take note I am on the east coast. If you live on the west coast and send my uterus thelepathic thoughts oh say around midnight that means I will sit bolt upright in bed at 3am wondering what the hell just happened. Considering I was just up for a run to bathroom at 2am that sort of cuts into the last of the natural sleeping habits I will get for a very long time. So, could you? Would you? Please? (Yes, I know I am a cranky old heffer and am imposing alot by asking this of you all.) (Blame it on the rude awakening and backache.) Thanks and I'll keep you updated as Baby Watch 2006 progresses. and Goodnight, Moon ... Goodnight, Internet ... (again)
Centimeters dialated = 2
Contractions = totally sporadic: nothing that even feels like a real contraction.
If I don't go over the weekend I have a 7:30 am appointment Tuesday morning for induction.
Please send contracting thoughts my way so I can get this done quickly.
Steven is so excited. His face has been shining like a light. He has a skip in his step and little sass in his behavior.
I was very surprised myself when the doctor came back after my exam with a list of phone numbers and instructions.
I am one blessed girl.
I guess you all will think the one good thing about this late end of my pregnancy is that it has put my butt on the couch. For the past 3 days I haven't had the energy or the notion to do anything. I nap, run to the bathroom, eat, and nap some more. It is an endless cycle of my day running in a loop marked sporadically with Braxtion-Hicks contractions and heartburn.
I am at the stage where my hips hurt all the time. Sleeping with pillows between my knees helps only a tiny bit. Sitting for a long time leaves me to walk like a little old lady. I shuffle (and waddle) until I get my momentum going and it eventually evens out to a regular (sort of) gait.
During my waking moments I do boot up the laptop and browse.Usually it is the blahgs of those who are pregnant at the time as I am and several that are lucky enough to have delivered all ready.
Is it a bad thing to say how much joyful glee I get reading the trials and turmoil of first time mothers? Can I express the snorts and chuckles of mother's discovering the new life of being at home with two children now? Yes, I am evil and get my giggles from the plight of the overwhelmed. I get a kick out of watching the rights of passage into motherhood.
I know by saying this outloud I am probably dooming myself, but it wouldn't be the first time. Been there done that.
It seems even those without children and no experience have advice to hand out to these new moms. Which makes it all the more funny to me. The random comments from passersby of my journal even make me laugh. I am the last person who needs advice.
I have never read any of the what to expect books. I have never read a parenting magazine. I know who T. Berry Brazelton is because he was THE Dr. Phil of parenting and childcare when I had my first child -19 years ago. If only I had known all those years ago that lactation consultants, midwives, dulahs, infant massage therapy etc etc etc would be so popular today! I could have made my living and be retired now!
This is the part of the entry where I am going to hand out some assvice. If you don't need it, don't read it. If you want to add to it leave it in the comments.
Crying:
If you have done everything for your baby and still the crying won't stop - sometimes a baby just needs to cry. It is also good for the lungs. Try not to let it drive you insane. Have you ever felt like you could just scream? How about had a crying jag for no reason whatsoever? Your baby needs to unwind similarly. If you are sure all needs have been met don't fret that something always has to be wrong. If the noise gets to be too much remember this: stick a boob in the mouth, can't cry when the mouth is full.
Note: Crying doesn't always indicate hunger. Please don't start the cycle of food for comfort by plopping a bottle in the mouth at every whimper. You will pay for it with more crying from tummy aches.
Diapers:
a. Name brands mean nothing. Off brand diapers do work just as well these days. Buy in bulk if you are using disposables.
b. Sometimes little tiny hineys need to breath some fresh air. don't be afraid to leave your baby barebottomed on a waterproof soft cover. Fresh air and sunlight help prevent chaffing and rashes.
c. I did cloth diapers with my first child. I did my part to save the environment. At my age I am all about convience these days. I am not washing and drying tons of cloth diapers.
Feeding:
I have done 100% breastfeeding. I have done 50/50 with formula. I have pumped 100% for a surrogate baby. For this baby I plan to breastfeed but have Steven feed with a bottle once each evening so that he isn't left out of the intimacy of bonding with his child. Don't worry about nipple confusion. Use a nipple shaped completely different from your nipple when bottle feeding.
a. Feed yourself first. You are able to deal with so much more if you are well nurished. In order to make milk to feed your baby you need to drink plenty and eat well. It is not selfish to take care of yourself before you rush off to meet every need of your baby.
b. Breastfeeding works on the law of supply and demand. The more your baby demands the more your body makes. If your baby nurses all day today you may end up with lots of milk tomorrow. It really does work in a 24 hour shift.
c. Some women do not make enough milk to support their baby. Please do not tell them that is untrue and pressure them to not bottle feed. I know of plenty of women who couldn't breast feed. My own mother tried to breast feed me but after a few weeks she had to change to the bottle. I could not tolerate her milk. My ex-MIL had more milk than a milk cow. When her husband was stationed in Germany in the 60's she often pumped and sent milk to women in a nearby German village who never had milk to come in for their babies. Just because we have boobs doesn't mean we can and will make nurishing milk for our babies.
d. Do what is right for you and your baby and don't let guilt and what other people think force you into something you are not comfortable with.
e. If you are breastfeeding it can take a week or more for your milk to come in. Use some common sense please! If you choose to breastfeed and your baby is not having wet diapers you need to supplement with formula! If nothing is coming out then nothing is going in! Think please! I do not want to scare anyone but dehydration in an infant can cause brain damage! Don't withhold formula because someone is bullying you about breastfeeding!!
f. The books do not tell you that onions, garlic, broccoli, some lettuces, beans and peppers (and other vegetables) when eaten can cause stomach aches in a newborn breastfeeding baby. If you are eating those things regularly make sure you have some baby gas drops on hand.
Poop
All poop is not created equal.
a. Breastfed poop is different from any kind of poop you encounter.
b. Formula poop is less different.
c. When your baby starts consuming cereals it becomes normal smelly poop.
d. Yes, it gets worse.
e. Don't push potty training but encourage it. My oldest was potty trained at 12 months (She also walked without holding on or with any help at all at age 7 months. She was far beyond the normal infant development. My youngest walked at 8 months. They were ready for things much sooner than most babies.). My youngest was potty trained at 18 months during the day but still needed pull-ups until age 2 at night. That lasted just a couple months and we were free from the diaper bondage. It is possible to take a toddler to the potty in the middle of the night without waking them or messing up their sleep routine. You'll be glad you tried it.
Sleep:
Sleep when your baby sleeps.
Circumcision:
We are not doing it. The end.
If you need any other common sense advice just send your questions to me at bigredcouch [at] gmail [dot] com. :-)
I spent yesterday cycling in and out of false labor. At times the fake contractions leaving me gasping for breath, hopeful they would set into a rhythm, only to stop and leave me pissed off because I am ready to be done!!!!
I am now ready to take suggestions on what will bring on real labor. 'Cept I am not drinking the castor oil so please don't suggest it.
To otherwise keep you occupied while I continue to ripen like a summer melon I found this to be a rather time consuming and intriguing little piece of gray matter work-out material.
Here is my result:
*****
I have no plans at the moment to work on any of my many and varied projects. I plan to come around and visit all of you beautiful woman who come here to visit me.
For those who wonder about my ambition and the tackling of projects -
Steven wonders why you think I need his permission or even his input.
LMFAO!!!
That would be like telling the tides when and how to roll.
As for paying a professional to come in and strip my floors and my staircase - it's called M.O.N.E.Y. My floors are 100 year old heart of pine planks. The nail heads are also 100 years old. When a floor is stripped they use a machine that is not really a sander. It takes as much as 1/8th of an inch off of the floor boards. This will not work in my house. It would chew up the nail heads.
My floors need restoration work. Which means good old fashioned elbow grease (and harsh chemicals). To pay someone for that kind of work would cost me a medium sized fortune. Being the tightwad that I am I prefer to keep my money, bitch and moan about the paint, strip them myself, so one day I can sit back and proudly see the fruits of my labors.
Once all of the paint is removed the floors will need to be lightly sanded. Depending on several factors I may just rent a floor sander and give them a once over myself. The part I am already dreading is the cleaning up of all the sanding dust BEFORE they can be stained and varnished. We did the floors in our house when I was a child. Holy Hell they were alot of work vaccuuming up every tiny particle on our hands and knees crawling along the baseboards with tack clothes and mineral spirits.
Ack. Maybe I need to win the lottery and spend the winnings on my floors. :-/
But then again there is NOTHING like the satisfaction of a job well done.
I know by now my whining sucks. So I'll try not to complain too much about how tired I am and how ready to be done I am. I have managed to keep myself busy so that I don't sit around and wallow in my discomfort, heartburn, restlessness and all around moodiness with accomapnied bad attitude. How have I kept myself busy? I am so glad you asked. I finished the baby's bedroom. Even though there is no hurry because he will be sleeping in a cradle in our bedroom and most likely in our bed for the next few months I felt the need to have his place in our home ready for him to come home to anyway.
